In this issue: Music CDs and DVDs from 7 Shot Screamers, Amplified Heat, Area 51, Sebastian Bach, Car Bomb Driver, Cheerleader, DBY, Devo, End Unseen, Green Day, Hellacopters, Horrorpops, Ivison, Judas Priest, DJ Keoki, Left In Ashes, Metallica, Mister Monster, MoneyShot, Nasty Savage, Nekromantix, Jon Oliva's Pain, Orange Goblin, Pitbull Daycare, Psychic TV, Rebel Rebel, Rigid, Sin City Ghouls, Slave Machine, Soda and his Million Piece Band, Sudden Death, The Mother's Anger, and Twisted Sister.

Movie (both DVD and theater) reviews of: 'Art School Sluts,' 'Flesh For The Beast,' 'The Grudge,' 'Resident Evil: Apocalypse,' 'Shaun of The Dead,' 'The Coolest Films You Don't Own Yet...But Need To,' (a multi-film review feature) 'The Luv Generation,' and 'White Noise.' 

Enjoy...

Reviews by: David Necro, Mark L, Rachel, Christopher Lee, K.K.

7 Shot Screamers
'Keep The Flame Alive'
(www.7shotscreamers.com)

HEYYYYYY all you ghouls and fiends who really dig rockabilly/psychobilly, boy do I have good news for you!!! You have to check out the latest release from The 7 Shot Screamers. Entitled 'Keep The Flame Alive', that they do in true rockabilly form. This one definitely has a West Coast rockabilly sound reminiscent of The Paladins. Every track rocks and there are no disappointments here. No Jive Daddio! -ML

Amplified Heat
'In For Sin'
(ArcLight Records)

Hey you little fiends, check this out. Amplified Heat is their name, Rock-N-Roll is their game, a game they play pretty well. Their latest album is a straight ahead rock n roll effort that is pretty damn good. Throw in a little bit of West Coast rockabilly and straight ahead rockabilly, with a little Rev. Horton Heat, and you get 'In For Sin'. The song "Roadrunner" is perhaps the most interesting on the album, and it has such killer lines as "Beamers, jags, and Hondas, Don't even try, your ass is mine" and "you can kiss my dual exhaust", thus the song is one of the ultimate odes to the muscle car era, along with Clutch's great song about that supersonic, space cruisin', "73 Dodge Swinger". For gearheads and rock n roll fans, this album is a definite must buy. For everyone else, it is definitely worth a look. I'll give this one 4 out of 5 crypts. -ML

Area 51
'Embryonic'
(Drifting Sands Entertainment)
www.xarea51x.com

Out of Tampa, Florida comes the new release from AREA 51. The band, comprised of Xavier James Mintaka(lead vocals/guitar), Pat Floyd(lead guitar/backing vocals), Nathan Etana(bass), and Jeremiah Lazzara(drums), have conceived, written, and composed a Metal masterpiece. For those of you who may not be familiar with Area 51 yet, they are in the vein of Armored Saint, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Fates Warning, and Stradivarius, just to name a few.

AREA 51 has achieved the perfect blend of the technical and melodic on this new disc. Xavier's lead vocals are the perfect blend of harmony, melody, and growls that would make Ronnie James Dio and Tom Araya proud. The guitar riffs that Pat lays down can hold their own against anything out there, and in many cases, just blow the competition off the road. The drum work of Jeremiah would make John Bonham, Keith Moon, and Lars Ulrich smile. Last, but certainly not least, the bass guitar work is absolutely incredible, and if you don't know it by now, Nathan refuses to use a pick when playing bass, which puts him in a very elite group of musicians, and I know Cliff Burton has to be looking down and saying to himself" Right On". The album is politically and socially relevant, filled with "make you think" lyrics which have been missing from commercial radio for too many years now. They have also released a video for the song "Communion", which is in 3-D animation and was created, directed, and produced by Xavier and Pat. It is visually stunning!!

Listen to the disc once and you will like it. Twice or more and it just may end up on your favorites list, don't say you haven't been warned. Finally, after seeing the last several years produce a lot of self indulgent, soulless, crap music, the New Wave of American Heavy Metal(NWAHM) has finally arrived and AREA 51 is leading the charge. Be on the lookout as they prepare to invade a town near you!!! -ML

'Art School Sluts'
Directed by Eon Mckai
(VCA Pictures)

With a title like ART SCHOOL SLUTS, I had very low expectations for this film. Fortunately, it rose far above them. Not to say it’s in a class with DEBBIE DOES DALLAS or CAFÉ FLESH or anything, but it’s still a worthwhile experience. Director Eon McKai knows what he’s doing, serving up some cinematic surprises along with plenty of hard-rocking hardcore scenes…and his cast exhibits such sexual ferocity you’d think that they were all being sentenced to prison the next day.
     ART SCHOOL SLUTS starts off with lead actress KEIKO in the car with her girlfriend LILI ANNE, playing grab-ass until their kiss leads to their crashing the car, and then having a hot girl-on girl session in some fantasy purgatory. Then KATJA KASSIN complains that her art teacher (JAMIE GILLIS) ‘has it in’ for her. Moments later, he has it in her, atop his desk…while his entire art class not only watches but takes polaroids! BROOKLYN (dba SIN SERIOUS) then puts her boyfriend through his paces, and afterwards KEIKO dances with her other girlfriend FELIX VICIOUS, which leads to another girl-on-girl rave, then to a hot three-way with her boyfriend TALON. Finally newcomer JAMES DEEN is quickly seduced by Keiko into becoming her back-door man in a sex-match that any referee would cite both of them for unnecessary roughness.
     In fact, unnecessary roughness seems to be McKai’s top direction to the male performers of his cast, with spankings and hair-pullings aplenty. But the ladies not only take it in (stride), but demand more…in particular, Keiko can’t seem to get her ass fucked hard enough by Deen (“C’mon, fuck that ass harder!” She snarls repeatedly) and she fearlessly blows him immediately afterwards.
     While none of the cast besides Gillis is a household name to XXX fans, they’re clearly no amateurs either. While Deen seems a bit on the scrawny side, the ladies are all young and beautiful--some possibly of the ‘Barely Legal’ variety, with nary a fake breast to be seen. Their collective sexual appetites show that they’re hungry for bigger and better things, heh heh heh. Keep an eye on these ladies, since they’re on their way up.
     Additionally improving ART SCHOOL SLUTS is an actual (gasp) soundtrack--no bands that you’d know by heart (The Does, Terminal 11, Gang Lu, Chuck Bronco, etc.) but a welcome break from the bullshit canned ‘music’ that most adult films contain--and a ‘behind the scenes’ feature with commentary by McKai and his cast and crew, showing that more than a little thought and professionalism went into this feature, and that the performers are actual performers, not mere puppets made of flesh. In fact, my only problem with the production is its title. Why ART SCHOOL SLUTS? Why not ART SCHOOL BABES or ART SCHOOL TEMPTRESSES or somesuch? It’s not like the girls screw entire battalions of different guys.
In any event, if your Inner Voyeur presents you with a choice between ANAL INTRUDERS
#49 and ART SCHOOL SLUTS, opt for the latter. -K.K.
     www.vcapictures.com, www.vcadvd.com, www.eonmckai.com.

Sebastian Bach
'Forever Wild'
(Eagle Vision)

Sebastian Bach, former lead singer of Skid Row and TV host of VH1's Forever Wild, is back with a new DVD. 'Forever Wild' is not only the name is his tv show but also his new CD. It is approximately 2 hours of concert footage interspersed with excerpts from his TV show. The concert was shot very well, sound quality is excellent, and overall this is a very well done video. Sebastian Bach and band roll thru a mixture of Skid Row tunes and other hard rockin' songs, such as "Parasite" by KISS. This new DVD is everything you want in a really good concert video. Extra features include excerpts from the TV show, "Forever Wild", and an interactive song discography, plus the demo version of a brand new, soon to be released song, "Always & Never The Same". Whether you are a die hard Skid Row or Sebastian Bach fan, or a headbangin' wild child from the 1980's, or you just like good Rock-N-Roll, you are definitely going to want to check this one out. I give this one 4.5 out of 5 crypts!! -ML

Car Bomb Driver
‘Official Bootleg’
(www.carbombdriver.com)

BLOWN AWAY!!!!! Those are the words that describe how I felt after listening to the new CD from Car Bomb Driver. These guys are "Old School English Punk Rock" to the T. Think Sex Pistols, The Clash, Slaughter and the Dogs, X-Ray Specs, The Ramones( I know, they are American, but they qualify)and you start to get the idea. The lead singer even has the English accent when he sings. From start to finish, pure punk rock ecstasy. Nothing drags or slows down. It is all fast, raw, energetic, in your face, pure rebellion.  In Short, this CD is EVERYTHING that good punk rock is supposed to be.   This CD gets 5 out of 5 mausoleums!!!!!!!!! Way to go guys :) -ML

Cheerleader
'All Hail'
(www.cheerleader666.com)
After listening to the new disc from Cheerleader and then reading their website, I am a little confused. They are described as " an orgy between The Ramones, Guns N'Roses, and AC/DC" and yet I can't hear any of that in this CD. Instead, it sounds like everything else on the radio today, such as the Ataris. This new disc is full of music that is extremely unoriginal, and the last two songs on the disc are ballads, the first of which is whiny as all get out, and the second ballad is just there. I can give these guys credit for one thing; they have a hell of a lot of energy and put it to good use. Overall, I can't give these guys anymore than 1.5 crypts out of a possible 5. Better luck next time guys. -ML

DBY
'Make It Bleed'
(JMB Records)

Rather the following the herd of bands with a similar image, DBY, the band who makes it a point that they are "fit for a funeral," are analogous to the lone wolf; marking his territory, and maintaining his individuality. Eschewing the electronic and the ethereal, they burst out of their crypt (deep in the swamplands of Florida) with teeth, fangs, and claws bared. Distant and stand-offish this is not. This is a very vicious, menacing, and horrific album (yet strong on melody and harmony) that never lets up in it's intensity. How is this possible you ask? By apparently being in-tune with each others talents and abilities. You can easily imagine that there's a lot of mental telepathy going on with Christopher Lee's precise yet reckless tombstone smashing, Nicodemous' throbbing and pulsating bass lines, Gory's blood-boiling and blood-chilling riffs, and last but not least, John Janos' confrontational yet subtly sweet-sounding vokills. A deep, dark wall of sound is created here which threatens to close in on you at every moment, until you finally realize that there's no way out; the wall suddenly becomes your tomb. There's also enough hot and cold running chills for the whole family. If this is what "grave-wave" is all about, make it a double. -DN

DEVO
'Live In The Land Of The Rising Sun'
(Music Video Disributors)

DEVO,a group of performance artists turned musicians, who were semi popular during the early 1980's, are back with a new DVD. 'Live In The Land Of The Rising Sun' is Devo back doing their early hits and not so hit music in Tokyo, Japan. This DVD is shot very well, and the sound is pretty good as well, although it did seem to be a little quiet even with the volume cranked. The concert footage has live interview sequences interspersed throughout it, so fans may dig it or may find it irritating. Overall I would say it was a pretty good video and will give it 3.5 out of 5 crypts. However I will say, that I would mainly recommend this DVD for only the hardcore DEVO fans, due to the fact that only one hit song, "Whip It" is included, the rest being more underground songs. -ML

End Unseen
‘Everyday’
(www.endunseen.com)
The new album from End Unseen, entitled ‘Everyday" is definitely Heavy Metal, and definitely heavy. However, I just can’t get that excited about it. The lead vocalist sounds like a cross between Butthead from "Beavis and Butthead" and someone who is really constipated. The guitar work is pretty repetitive, and so is the drumming. The CD has a few interesting, and entertaining moments, but that is about it. I just can’t get really excited about it. It is not the worst out there, but it could definitely be much better.  Better luck next time guys. I give this one 1.75 out of 5 crypts. -ML

'Flesh for the Beast'
Rated R for horror violence/gore, sexuality and language.
Produced, Written & Directed by: Terry West

  The movie opens with men scurrying down a long dark hallway;
anyone with even a smidgen of common sense knows that isn't kosher. The first
moronic rat is a portly four eyed gentleman, that reminds this reviewer a bit
of Milton Waddams. With little emotion he gets dragged away by shadows. Our
second doofus, face plants into a corpse and then vomits something that looks
like creamed corn. Boy they didn't spare any expense with the effects!
        Finally the plot begins, or doesn't. The new owner of the house, John
Stoker played by Sergio Jones hires some Psychic Investigators ala Rose Red.
Introductions are made by Sturgeon portrayed by actor Clark Beasley Jr.
Stoker explains that the original owner of the house dabbled in the occult and ran
a successful whore house. Erin the token psychic, Jane Scarlett AKA Katie
Chainsaw, passes out due to the overwhelming vibe from the house.
    Quickly the group splits up to explore the house. Sturgeon gets nailed
and then we finally get to see a very nice shower scene starring Isadora
Edison.
    Monks, Victor Flynn, the elder of the group notices mist rising from the
bathroom and goes to investigate. Unfortunately the hag that pops out to
seduce him isn't as well endowed as Isadora. The woman assists Monks in acting out
his pseudo-rape fantasy and then transforms into a pasty face demoness and
kills him. If there are any Trekkie fans reading this, the demonic faced females
look like Salt Vampires.
    Who cares if it kills you so long as you cum, seems to be the theme of
the movie. Kepping with that theme we have our young film jockeys, Shelley &
Clegg (both of which I half suspected preferred each other to the horny
hoochies) discover a drawer full of jewels. One leaves while the other attempts a
robbery that gets thwarted by zombies. Both get seduced by psycho demon chicks and
die. One gets the toy loving freak and the other gets the Dominatrix old hag.
The sex scenes are hardly believable due to the guys keeping all of their
clothing on; boxer shorts the new wave condom?
      Let's not forget our favorite psychic, Erin. Stoker keeps her with him
hoping that she will discover the golden beetle worn by the homes original
owner Alfred Fischer played by Aldo Sanbrell. The beetle is rumored to control
the horny demon women and make them submit to their owners every whim.
      Will Stoker succeed in controlling these not so luscious fem fatales?
Who cares. Buy some beers, rent the movie, enjoy the boobies and gore. -Rachel

Green Day
'American Idiot' (Reprise)  Forget what you know of the Berkeley, CA natives as there is nothing herein this record acknowleding the scene they helped create and luckily they have surpassed, outlasted and seperated themselves with this release!! What IS on offer is a very unsettling biopic of what is becoming of our society too dependent on technology to the point of not having to think, the mass media's mission to pre-occupy you with soulless entertainment, reality tv, and celebrity worship so you fail to comprehend that the powers that be are lying to your face while stickingthe knife in the back of the people who they are supposed to represent... "American Idiot" is a record that conceptually would fall in line comfortably in the ranks of The Who's "Who's Next", The Clash's "London Calling" & RAMONES classic "Road To Ruin"...a concept record that screams of the loss of innocence growing up in the Post-"Dubya" adminstration America where even thirty-somethings can feel totally hopeless, attacking everything from American "pop culture" on down the line... This record demands to be listened to AND absorbed as one complete peice of of music as any of the songs taken out of their rightful order or context lack the impact they profess when this record is listened to in its intended delivery... The best record of 2004? Quite possibly, regardless of their stature, with this record Green Day have earned the right to one day be mentioned in the same breath as the band they musically inaugurated into the 2002 Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame...RAMONES!! Brilliant songs, perfect songwriting, raw fucking emotion...what else can be bled, these songs will keep your attention even after repeated listenings as they are very gritty with incredible hooks that will sound just as fresh on the 666th listen, as they did on the first!! In the month's leading up to the record's release and reading the studio reports and mention of the "9-minute rock opera" they wrote, i had no idea what to what the outcome would sound like, BUT "Jesus Of Suburbia" is hands down one of the best fucking rock songs ever written capable of making you want to cry and yell and scream in disgust for change, while at the same time filling you with the hope that only rock n' roll is capable of, that YOU and everything else will be alright!! God bless Billy Joe and the boys for taking themselves to task creating a record whose end result will surely secure their place in rock n' roll history getting them unlike their peers (who i wont even mention, they all suck!!) inducted into the same institution they performed for as fans in 2002!! NO ONE can deny the brilliance OR brevity of this record, a record that much like any RAMONES milestone will hit way too close to home emotionally in its sincerity!! You are urged to give "American Idiot" a listen if you havent yet and Christopher Lee and his hearse would never steer you wrong!! -CL

The Grudge
Director: Takashi Shimizu
Producer: Taka Ichise  Roy Lee  Rob Tapert  Sam Raimi  Doug Davison
Nathan Kahane
Screenwriter: Stephen Susco
Cinematographer: Hideo Yamamoto
Composer: Christopher Young
Executive Producer: Joseph Drake Sam Raimi Carsten H.W. Lorenz
Roy Lee Nathan Kahane
Starring:
Sarah Michelle Gellar Jason Behr
Clea DuVall Bill Pullman
Kadee Strickland William Mapother
Grace Zabriskie Rosa Blasi
Ryo Ishibashi Yoko Maki
Courtney Webb Takako Fuji
Ted Raimi Yuya Ozeki

  The movie begins with a shocked looking man taking a nose dive from his highrise apartment balcony onto the cement pavement below. With an omnious written warning to the viewer that simply put tells you that if something tragically bad happens in a house the house becomes evil; you are given the basis of the movie.
  The movie never really explains what the main character is doing working in Japan other then letting you assume she has followed her arcitect boyfriend there. She works for a sort of Meals-on-wheels/Helping hands type organization. Ms. Gellers  character is sent to the evil house when one of the maids that is caring for a schitzo-phrenic woman mysteriously doesn't show up for work;the evil house graphically eats her.
  Ms Geller, of course, explores the house and hears a cat making alot of noise behind a duct taped up cupboard. She removes the tape and finds a little boy hiding in there. She calls work to let them know about the little boy who reveals his name to be Toeshi. As she is checking on the schitzophrenic woman she says "Make her go away", Ms Geller looks around and eventually sees a black mass hovering over the ladies bed, it kills the lady and attacks Ms Geller.
   A little research is done on the house, the original owner killed his wife, son and pet cat then killed himself. The new owners, disapeared except for the schitzophrenic lady.
   The plot of this movie is truly awful but because of all the things that pop out at you, it is scary.
 One stroke of brilliance is the idea to burn the house thus somehow destroying the ghosts; Yes, let's all go burn something we can't see.
  Rent the movie for a decent scare but don't expect much. -Rachel

The Hellacopters
'By The Grace Of God'
(Liquor and Poker Music)

Every once in a while there comes an album that really takes you by surprise.  Such is the case with the The Hellacopters and their new album 'By The grace Of God'. I was waiting to see if these guys did a ballad or slowed it down at all, or lost some energy and faded out at any point on the album, but NO!! In my humble opinion, this is going to be the surprise album and smash hit of the year. There is not one bad song on this album, NOT ONE!!! The Hellacopters have the sound, the energy, and definitely the talent to go as far as they want to in the world of rock n roll, and this entire album shows it. I am going to give these guys 5 out of 5 crypts. How far these guys actually go is anyone's guess, but if this album is any indication, then can you say "Superstars"?!? -ML

Horrorpops
'Hell Yeah!'
(Hellcat)

This has got to be one of the best albums I have listened to. The lead singer does sound like a morose Gwen Stefani except she can do things with her voice that reminds me a bit of Irish singers.

I absolutly love this CD, every song on it is good. I do find it odd that I disliked Nekromantix but I love this (?) -the lead singer/upright bass player, Patricia, is the wife of Kim Nekroman of the Nekromantix (who happens to play guitar, rather than upright bass, in this band.)

I think, if given the right opportunities, this band could easily slip into mainstream-I believe they could be Grammy worthy. This band appeals to many different genres-while those loyal to the Goth scene may find it insulting; A lot of "Jocks" and "Preps" find this music appealing. While shopping for a laptop in BestBuy, I watched a young lady who looked like she just walked off an LLBean catalog, gleefully buy the Horrorpops CD.
 
The music is depressing and danceable; I LOVE IT! (to death? -DN) -Rachel

Ivison
'Ivison'
(www.ivisonmusic.com)

Ivison is a 3 piece prog/modern rock band that is literally mindblowing. This 3 song EP is just a prelude to a full length CD that is coming soon. Obviously influenced by bands such as Radiohead, Yes, and Kansas, they have their own distinctive sound. This CD shows that this band is definitely doing their own thing and making their mark and doing a great job of it musically. In a day where commercial radio has become something that is a complete ripoff of itself, day in and day out, it is really great to hear something completely original, and to quote Monty Python in part "Completely different". This is one of the most original albums to come around in quite a while. But I have to warn you: start listening to this CD and you are going to be hooked, and you may even find yourself humming their songs throughout the day. Each of the 3 songs is different from the others,  and yet each is equally strong, equally well written, and equally shows what a truly talented band Ivison is.  And if it is any indication, then the full length CD is going to be nothing short of phenominal. I give this one 5 out of 5 crypts. Get this one while you can. -ML

Judas Priest
'Angel of Retribution'
(Sony Music)

With the return of legendary vocalist Rob Halford to the band, Judas Priest’s all-new release ANGEL OF RETRIBUTION (which took two years to create), should be an instant metal classic, a ferocious slab of sonic destruction which shatters your windows and eardrums while inducing furious fits of headbanging that SCREAMING FOR VENGEANCE or UNLEASHED IN THE EAST used to inspire.
     Please note the use of the word “should”.
     Every Judas Priest fan waited a long time for this CD, and had high hopes for it…especially this writer (who actually didn’t swipe his pen name from K.K. Downing, but only because my real name is Lithuanian and keeps getting misspelled). It’s always good to know the classic NWOBHM bands are still touring and recording--Iron Maiden, Motorhead and Saxon have only gotten better with age--and ANGEL OF RETRIBUTION doesn’t suck. It just doesn’t satisfy.
     Judas Priest have re-invented themselves several times through their career, sometimes by necessity (recruiting younger yowler Ripper Owens after Halford’s departure), sometimes on a whim (the ‘synth-metal’ experiment of TURBO). In doing so, they’ve often strayed from the basic elements that made them Metal Gods: a 500-mph dual guitar attack accompanying the scream of all screams. Their latest efforts with Owens have opted for a slower, grungier sound plagued by cartoonish songwriting (“Jugulator”, “Devil Digger”, etc.) that sounded more like B-horror movie soundtracks than metal albums. ANGEL OF RETRIBUTION suffers the same fate.
     The opener “Judas Rising” begins with an intricate, swirling guitar riff that dives into a storm of drumrolls and Halford’s trademark scream, then levels off into a mid-tempo, motoring anthem about “war in the heavens”. Sounds cool enough, until you realize you’re listening to a much slower version of “Painkiller”. The second track “Deal With The Devil” is as close as ANGEL gets to the classic battering Priest sound, something like “Riding On The Wind” only with the lyrics of Halford’s “Raised in Hell”.
     Then it’s recycling time. “Revolution” uses the exact same riff from “Metal Gods”, except that during the vocals the guitars drop out of the song altogether. “Demonizer” is perhaps the second best track on the album, and is actually a new version of “Bloodsuckers” from DEMOLITION. One wishes that as long as Priest were recycling old riffs, they’d recycle something faster, along the lines of “Screaming For Vengeance” or “Freewheel Burning”. Instead they break out two new ballads, “Angel” and “Eulogy”. As a long-time horror freak, I was looking forward to the closing track “Loch Ness”, but it was tragically slow and uninteresting with the weakest lyrics on the album (“Loch Ness…Confess…Your terror of the deep”/”Loch Ness…Distress…Malingers what you keep”).
     Fortunately, ANGEL OF RETRIBUTION earns its value by including a DVD side which has not only a band documentary and interview, but live tour footage of their hits “Breaking The Law”, “Metal Gods”, “A Touch of Evil”, “The Hellion/Electric Eye”, “Diamonds and Rust” and “Living After Midnight.” The DVD alone makes ANGEL a worthwhile purchase, but most fans will probably end up wishing Judas Priest had offered a new live album or a greatest-hits package instead-and no tears for Ripper Owens, please; he’s now the lead singer of the American metal juggernaut ICED EARTH. -K.K.

DJ Keoki
'KeokiClash'
(Cleopatra)
Three cheers for debauchery! If I drink enough maybe the songs will sound less uniform. This CD would make a great porn film soundtrack. I enjoyed the first song "It's Over" due to the voice over of what sounds to me like a prissy queen "I've done it all honey. I've worked, I've walked, I've danced, I've pranced". Everything sounds the same but it is entertaining background noise for a night of debauchery. -Rachel

Left In Ashes
'For All Is Lost...'
(www.leftinashes.com)

ATTENTION ALL THRASH/DEATH METAL FANS!!!
From the birthplace of Death Metal comes the freshman effort of Left In Ashes. This 3 song EP is pure death and thrash metal with understandable lyrics and melody thrown in for good measure. All combined it makes for a very enjoyable listening experience. Even those not into death or thrash should enjoy this one simply for the well executed use of melody throughout the disc. The songs are well written and are a good reflection of how fucked up our society has gotten and how it leaves you feeling. You can feel the rage in the lyrics and vocals. A song such as "Know Your Enemies" which talks about confronting those who fucked you over in a previous relationship is a great example of this. In a year of very interesting music coming out, this is definitely worth checking into. You can find out more on their website. -ML

Metallica
'Some Kind of Monster'
(Paramount Home Video)

Looking in from the outside, most people would think that being in METALLICA would be the best gig possible. You’re a rock star, of course, with fans and groupies and world tours aplenty, but you’re also a rock star that has sold ninety…count ‘em…ninety million albums, and left an undeniable mark on music history.
     You would never know that from watching Some Kind Of Monster, the new feature film about the band. Most would describe it as a documentary; to this writer it’s an actual mystery: a mystery that Metallica were ever able to unite long enough to play or record at all. You soon discover being a rock star is a (gasp) job…one with not just one ‘boss’ but many…your bandmates, fans, management, family, and…psychotherapist?
     Some Kind of Monster catches up with Metallica as they prepare to record their latest record ST. ANGER, just as flaws in their working relationship reach critical mass. Bassist Jason Newsted has just quit the band, after being told by Metallica co-commander James Hetfield not to pursue any outside projects. This is the tip of Monster’s iceberg: pressure from with and without. Pressure creates diamonds, but also takes its toll.
     Desperate for some creative breakthrough, to make something new, Hetfield and Lars Ulrich are giving up their ‘do this, do that’ approach to making music, starting from scratch and allowing input from Kirk Hammet and Bob Rock. This becomes such alien territory that their managers bring in a psychotherapist to reveal and repair long-standing differences. Halfway through the sessions, a frustrated Hetfield enters rehab for alcoholism, leaving his bandmates to search their own souls.

Irritatingly, Monster drops the viewer into Metallica’s studio (San Francisco’s Presidio military base!) with virtually no background or introduction of the band…but the band’s fame has probably brought any viewer up to speed on them already. They’ve made videos and DVDs before, but never a feature film, and nothing this intimate. For the first time we can see James Hetfield’s iron grip on the band’s leadership. He admits past abandonment issues have made him somewhat tyrannical, but even his newfound sobriety has done little to change that. He still demands control of almost every facet of the band, and seems baffled or insulted when anyone suggests something different. Even Lars Ulrich admits a fearful revelation that he “Doesn’t want to end up like Jason” (As if he could be fired by the very band he co-created!).
     The psychotherapy sessions throughout the film might make some viewers echo Jason Newsted’s sentiment: “How f**king LAME is that, that we can’t work out our differences between each other, that we need some psychotherapist to do it?” While the therapy might have helped Metallica’s members on a personal level, on a professional level it severely hampers the creative process. One scene has Lars erupting “Why does every thought, every feeling, have to be examined and dissected?!” At the thirty-ninth time Lars was asked “How did that make you feel?” I answered for him: “He probably feels like a musician who was supposed to have created an album a year ago, and still hasn’t, due to this management-ordered therapy, so I’d use the word frustrated, if not furious.”

Some stand-out scenes:

A candid conversation between Ulrich and his former bandmate, MEGADETH founder Dave Mustaine. Amazingly, despite Megadeth’s undeniable success (15 million albums sold might not stack up to Metallica’s 90, but hell, it’s still fifteen million albums!)  Mustaine laments the last twenty years spent outside Metallica. “All I’ve heard is what a great guitarist Kirk is, and what a piece of…I was. I’ve watched everything you do turn to gold, and everything I do backfire…even though some people would consider my backfires complete successes.” (C’mon, man, RUST IN PEACE and THE SYSTEM HAS FAILED are Masterpieces, not ‘backfires’.)
 
Lars auctioning off his entire art collection, reaping millions of dollars in one night.
 
The new bassist auditions, featuring bassists from some of the best-known metal bands around. This spawns the song and film title SOME KIND OF MONSTER: “Man, if we could just put the best parts of these guys together, we’d have some kind of monster.” And they get one, in hulked-out Ozzy Osbourne bassist Robert Trujillo. After hammering out song after song perfectly…without even using a pick…they offer him a million dollars up front to join Metallica.
 
Jason Newsted embarrassing the band by making twice the music and headlines that Metallica does, with his own band Echobrain and playing for Canadian mainstays VOIVOD, in half the time it takes Metallica to set up ST. ANGER.
 
Meeting Lars' father Torben, the only person in the film who is able to honestly point out the flaws of ST. ANGER.
 
A website cartoon that ridicules Lars and James for standing up to Napster.
 
Live versions of “Seek and Destroy” played throughout the band’s history.

If you’ve ever wanted a really intimate view of Metallica…or of the ups and downs of rock stardom in general, you’ll want to see Some Kind Of Monster. It’s truly revealing, and it’s not a bad film, by any stretch of the imagination. The only thing bad about it is that it chronicles the creation of ST. ANGER, which is the one Metallica album that both the band and its fans would probably rather forget. -K.K.

METAL QUIZ: According to Dave Mustaine, what was the original incident that sparked his eventual separation from Metallica? (First correct answer to ShoKKers@aol.com receives a Free DVD of SOME KIND OF MONSTER!)

(K.K. is the Author of INHUMAN RESOURCES, CLOWNWHITE: A COMEDY OF HORRORS, ROCK HER WORLD: A MAN’S GUIDE TO WOMEN, and the Audio CD THIS WON’T HURT A BIT. As an actor, he appears in the feature films GO, BIOHAZARD 2, IMMORTAL, and assorted stage productions.  When not writing or acting, he’s headbanging.)

Mister Monster
'Over Your Dead Body V2'
(Hell's Hundred Records)
Oh please let these guys be as cute as they sound! WOO WOO! "Til the End" had me dancing around the house  This band reminds me a bit of Morissey and The Misfits. I could totally see the song "Over Your Dead Body" being used for a movie soundtrack; Hey Romero, check these guys out! -Rachel

MoneyShot
‘Trust’
(www.moneyshotrockandroll.com)

Hard Rockers and Metal Heads, and all you other little ghouls and fiends, check this out.
The new CD from MoneyShot, entitled ‘Trust’ is just killer. There is nothing I can say at
all that is bad about this album. On the contrary, this CD totally rocks from start to
finish. All 9 tracks are very well done, and they have a definite "timeless" quality to
them. The entire band is very talented and it shows on this album. It is no wonder that Jon
Oliva has two of the former members of this band playing with him in Jon Oliva’s Pain(Kevin Rothney, and Jerry Outlaw, who both play on this CD). That is reason enough to check it out. Need another reason? Okay, here you go, this album just totally kicks ass!!!! Well written, great musicianship, nice diversity in song styles, great cover art. These guys did a great job, and as such, I will give this CD 5 out of 5 crypts!!! Who said Heavy metal died in
1992??? Whoever did was totally wrong. Rock On!!! This one is definitely "Headbanger’s
Deluxe"!!!!!! -ML

Nasty Savage
'Psycho Psycho'
(Crook'd Records)
(www.nastysavage.com)

Lock up the women and children, the "Savage" has returned!!! That's right ghouls and fiends, Nasty Savage has returned with their best recording to date, 'Psycho Psycho'. This CD is what metal fans have been longing for, true blue, in your face metal. Every song on this disc rocks, and it is truly headbanging heaven of the first order. This album showcases the talent of every member of the band. It is loud, fast, brash, raucous, everything heavy metal is supposed to be. So many bands, after they break up and finally get back together, never can seem to find their old groove or anything even close to their "glory days of old". Not so with disc. These guys have not only found their old groove, they have gone above and beyond and taken their music to new heights. Nasty Savage have once again proved what their fans have known for years: These guys can rock and rock hard they do. They take hard metal/thrash metal and put in just enough melody that even the fussiest of listeners should come to appreciate these guys for the true talents they are. If I had to give this new CD a rating I would give it 5 out of 5 tombs. Maybe Nasty Ronnie and Ben Meyer and company will finally get their dues. After listening to this release and previous recordings, I can only wonder why they haven't achieved the press and fame of other, more well known bands. Maybe this one will finally take them to where they should have been during the "First Wave of American Heavy Metal(FWAHM)". If you don't pick up this release, you definitely are 'Psycho Psycho'! -ML

Nekromantix
'Dead Girls Don't Cry'
(Hellcat)
Ok, I'm sorry but I really didn't enjoy this CD one bit. These guys aren't terrible musicians, I just didn't find any of their songs appealing. I wouldn't say this sucks like I did the Godstar CD, these guys are really well put together. They are extremely proficient in harmonization. They don't sound like a bunch of toddlers having fun in the kitchen. Their music just wasn't able to hold my interest; maybe it will yours?     -Rachel

Jon Oliva's Pain
'Tage Mahal
(Steamhammer/SPV Records)

Savatage/Transiberian Orchestra fans, guess what??? If you haven't heard by now, the new project from Jon Oliva is set for release here in the US in early January 2005. His band is called Jon Oliva's Pain. The new album is entitled "'Tage Mahal". Jon wanted to revisit many of his influences from "from the Beatles to Black Sabbath, Queen to Deep Purple and beyond. I wanted to travel in musical directions that I had not visited for some time." This is Chapter 1 of a 3 part saga. To go above and beyond what he had already accomplished with Savatage and Transiberian Orchestra, in my opinion, is a pretty tall order. But accomplish this he did, and IN SPADES!!! I had talked to Jon briefly when he gave me the CD to review and he said he felt this was his best work since 'Gutter Ballet'. I think this new album goes ABOVE and BEYOND anything and everything he has done to date. There is not one bad, cheesy, gimmicky, or crappy song on this entire album. Nothing sounds like it was thrown together, instead, it sounds as if he really took the time to do this project right, which is precisely what I would have expected from Jon Oliva. Savatage and Transiberian Orchestra are among the greats of the Rock-N-Roll world, and yet he pulled off an even greater masterpiece. This is definitely one of the very best albums I have heard in the last two years. The album contains 13 tracks, and all of them have timely and at the same time, timeless lyrics. I cannot find one thing bad to say about this album. The classical influences are all their, as are his musical influnces, it has the amount of technicality you would expect out of anything Jon Oliva would do. It has melodic and heavy, fast and slower, in all the right places. The vocals are dead on as is the total musicanship. This just maybe the best album of 2005, bar none!!!! I definitely give this one 5 out of 5 crypts!!! Get this one as soon as you can, or you'll be sorry you didn't!!!! -ML

Orange Goblin
'Thieving From The House Of God'
(The Music Cartel)

The new CD from Orange Goblin is really good, except for one thing: it sounds like everything Soundgarden did after 'Louder Than Love'.

They remind me of the band Kingdom Come, who completely sounded like Led Zeppelin. Goblin has some power and energy, but otherwise as previously stated, are a Soundgarden copy. If you are a hardcore Soundgarden fan and just can't get enough, then buy this CD and imagine it is the new Soundgarden album. Otherwise, you may have mixed feelings as I do about this CD. Kinda like buying a knockoff Rolex, it looks good, sounds good, and feels good, but in the end it is still a knock off. I give it 2 crypts out of 5. -ML

Pitbull Daycare
'Unclean'
(Cleopatra)
"I'm under water and your foot is on my head"-  Uh, so fucking dump her? Quit whining about it on "You make me feel so dead"
"My Own Man" - "My God I was good for you but I guess I just wasn't the one"
and this is supposed to impress her how? "I know you want my sexcapade, I can see it in your eyes" -  *laugh* Ok withhold sex from her. Does he really think she will have a hard time getting laid?
This band is corny! It's like the musical equivalent of a bald man with a small schlong buying a Ferrari. I was slightly amused by their rendition of R.E.M.S "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I feel Fine)" everything else annoyed the ever living fuck out of me. Grow a dick, get over her! This CD is cheesier then Cheeze-Wiz. -Rachel

Psychic TV
'Godstar-The Directors Cut'
(Temple)
David hates me! He bloody fucking hates me!  I could only tolerate one song, "Amazing Vibrations". There isn't a large enough amount of toxic substances to make me enjoy this. You want to buy this shit, well Koo Koo Kachoo! Use this CD to torture obnoxious neighbors, when you aren't home. Psychic TV? There's no point in telling them they suck, they already know.    -Rachel

Rebel Rebel
'Explode Into Space'
(FTW/MK Ultra Records and Filmworks)

The latest release from Rebel Rebel is a straight up rock album. Track 1 (Neophilia) and Track 8 (Our Time is Now) are the best tracks on the album.

However, everything else falls in the category of "okay, but not spectacular".

If you are looking for something spellbinding, this is not the CD for you. However, if you want you want something to rock out to and aren't really picky, then this CD might be worth checking into. I give it 2 out of 5 crypts.

-ML

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Rated R for nudity, violence & language
94 minutes long

    This movie is another insufferable sequel. I absolutely love Zombie
flicks more then a Redneck loves sheep (that's a whole lot of loving)
The movie opens where the original left off. Alice, portrayed by the
gratuitously tit flashing Milla Jovovich, wakes up in another deserted Umbrella
Corporation facility. She is the apparent victim of scientific experimentation.
Brazenly she wanders outside of the facility and discovers that Raccoon City now
looks like a war zone. Wreckage strewn everywhere, Alice discovers a police
car with its shotgun unlocked. (maybe he or she was going to blow their head off
because they knew this sequel would suck!)  Alice does a bit of rummaging for
clothing in a gun store and comes out looking quite adorable in a green mesh
type outfit that clearly shows her permatit erections.
      The movie then begins to try to explain the events that passed while
Alice was out of it.  Apparently, Umbrella Corporation wanted to reopen the
hive, the massive underground labs that contained the Zombies and Lickers. The T
virus escapes into the general population; The zombies go on a feeding frenzy.
All of the important Umbrella Corporation employees get escorted out in Black
SUVs including T Virus creator and designer of the deadly computer system that
mimicked his daughter in the first movie, Dr. Ashford played my Jared Harris.
Dr. Ashford's daughter is also picked up in a Black SUV from her school
however hers gets into a fender bender. The scientist Dr. Isaacs played by Iain
Glen, sets up a check point to scan citizens that are escaping, to ensure none of
the infected ever leave Raccoon city. When one of the infected reaches the
gate he closes down the only escape route and orders everyone to return to the
city at gunpoint.
      Television reporter Terri Morales played by Sandrine Holt , is on the
spot filming everything that happens eventually she links up with  Jill
Valentine, a rogue cop played by the very attractive Sienna Guillory and a zombie
bitten cop buddy of Jill's. They retreat to an old church that is infested with
Lickers and Alice burst through the church on a chopper killing the Licker.
      The story line doesn't really flow but L.J. played by Mike Epps will
make you laugh enough to almost forget how much it sucks. In one scene, L.J. is
playing a game with his car; running over zombies for points. L.J. notices
some hot topless zombie chicks and crashes his car. He eventually finds temporary
safety with S.T.A.R.S and when they offer him a weapon to use he flashes him
his custom gold chromed guns. Project Nemesis comes on the scene and wipes out
all of the S.T.A.R.S. leaving L.J. alone once again.
        In another scene theres a SWAT team trying vainly to stem the zombie
tide, Nicholai played by Zack Ward, Yuri - Stefan Hayes and and Carlos played
by Oded Fehr make a decision to abort their mission and try to save
themselves. They see what they believe to be a rescue helicopter fly around them so they
rush to the building it lands on and realize it was dropping weapons, weapons
not intended for them.
    Somehow all of these people receive a frantic call from Dr. Ashford,
offering to save anyone who will retrieve his daughter before the cleansing
nuclear strike that Dr. Issacs has ordered.  
    Angela Ashford made her way back to her school and is in hiding. The
fugitives hiding out in the church make their way to the school. Brilliantly the
group splits up to search all the floors for Angela. Reporter Terri notices a
little girl kneeling on the floor and gets eaten by a flock of zombie kiddies.
Jill hearing her screams comes running and finds Angela. They work their way
past zombies and meet up with the Macho SWAT guys minus one who had been
infected. Nicholai gets himself killed to save Angela and Jill from a zombie dog.
    The movie explains briefly that both Alice & Matt were made into
Bioweapons using the T-virus and the demented Dr. Issacs alludes to using the Raccoon
City disaster as a testing site for the bioweapons.
      What is left of the ragtag party, works its way to the rescue site only
to be ambushed by Nemesis, ordered by Dr. Issac.
  I won't give away the ending but they very clearly set it up for another
suck filled sequel. Some inconsistencies I found rather annoying were when
Jill, Alice, Terri & Jills cop buddy are trudging through a cemetery filled with
people who have been dead for decades. The zombies pop up from the ground and
attack them. While that is possible in a Romero flick it does not fit into the
Resident Evil movie. The bodies buried in the cemetery could not have been
infected with the T-Virus. As stated above, the movie does not flow.
    The only 2 good reasons I could suggest for even watching this crap laden
flick are the humor of L.J. and of course a very vivid full frontal of Milla
Jovovich. Mazel Tov, this movie blows. -Rachel

Rigid
‘Rigid’
(www.rigidband.com)

The new self titled album from Rigid is really good. The writing is good, so is the
musicianship. The great thing about this new album is that they have a great diversity of
hard, and mellow, and everything in between. Track 4, "To Mold The Citizen" has a definite
Nirvana influence, while Track 9 "Allergies" has a definite Pink Floyd groove going in that
the song has many different chord progressions and time changes, and immediately reminded me of many a great Pink Floyd song for this reason. This CD is really good, everything song is worth listening to, everything is very enjoyable. Just a great album. Good work guys!!! I give this 4.5 out of 5 crypts. It is definitely metal, and good metal at that. Rock on!!!!!! -ML

Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Directed by Edgar Wright & written by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg (also the
star)

    Yes, this movie has absolutely no nudity but it is still one of the best
horror flicks that I have seen in quite awhile. Shaun of the Dead is of the
rare genre of Horror/Comedy. Even George Romero would be proud of this flick.
    The movie is about this absolutely boring dork of a man named Shaun
played by Simon Pegg. He works at an electronics store populated by teenaged
employees and shares a house with two of his friends, one of which is video game
playing squatter named Ed played by Nick Frost.
    Simon is involved in a long term relationship with Liz played by the very
cute Kate Ashfield. Simons exciting lifestyle revolves around the Winchester
pub. He is notorious for forgetting his mothers birthday and even forgetting
his own anniversary with Liz.
  Quite honestly, Simon could almost have OCD. His daily life is an unchanged
record. Wake up, play video games with Ed, stop at Nelsons store for a Coke,
go to work, go to the Winchester Pub, go home. Eventually Liz gets a bid upset
with Simons redundant behavior and requests he take her somewhere special for
their anniversary. On the same day Simons stepfather tells him to buy flowers
for his mom.
  Simon screws it all up and Liz ends up breaking up with him. Ed takes
Simon to the Winchester pub to help him get over Liz. As they drunkenly walk home,
they pass several zombies and don't even realize it. One of the zombies is
groaning at them and they make a silly song out of it. When they arrive at the
house they blast Raver music and wake up their other roommate. The roommate is
already in a horrible mood because he feels sick due to a bite he received
from what he believed to be a crackhead.
  The drunken boys pass out and wake up to find an odd woman in their yard.
Ed the butthead tosses an acorn at her head to get her attention, she attacks
Shaun. Both of the guys believe she is just drunk and trying to make a pass at
Shaun so Ed rushes into the house to get a camera to take pictures.
Eventually they realize something isn't quite right once another zombie shows up. Just
like the Romero trilogy, the newscasters advice to chop off the head or
destroy the brain with blunt trauma. The boys take heed, fill up a laundry basket
and chuck the items at the zombies. Ed & Simon will never be drafted for the
Farm Leagues. Simon ends up using a cricket bat and Ed uses a shovel.
    Ed & Simon formulate a plan to rescue Simons mom and Simons ex Liz that
he is still very much in love with.
    Simons mother refuses to be rescued without bringing along Simons
stepfather that has been bitten by a zombie and Liz refuses to go without her friends
David and Mary also known as the Failed Actress & the Twat according to Simon.
  Where does Simon the brave plan to take his motley crew to safety? Why, ye
olde Winchester Pub. Only one kink in that idea, there is a horde of zombies
in the way. The failed actress suggests that they pretend to be zombies to get
to the pub. Once they make it to the pub they have to figure out how to keep
the zombies out.
    The movie is equally frightening and hilarious. The special effects are
ok, they have a great scene where you watch a mob of zombies rip a poor
S.O.B.'s guts out. Shaun is a complete putz, you can't help but laugh. He is so
oblivious to everything around him. When he goes into Nelson's store and the glass
on the cooler that holds his Coke has bloody handprints, Shaun does nothing
because due to his obsessive life rituals he just doesn't get the clue that a
man eating zombie is behind him.
  According to IMDB.com, George Romero was so impressed with this movie that
he gave the writers, Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright cameos in his upcoming film
"Land of the Dead".
  This movie is one of the best if not the best horror flick of 2004. Quit
reading my review and go watch it. -Rachel

Sin City Ghouls
'Six Feet Under'
(www.sincityghouls.com)

The debut release from Vegas' most morbid (and psychotic) band, a recording that has horror, humor, and decadance written all over it. Very creepy melodies run head on with almost inhuman breakneck hardcore punk rhythms, and the effect is that of putting 45 Grave and the Dead Kennedys in a blender and pressing 'Frappe.' This is no EBM or synthpop bullshit; this is real deathrock, horror punk, horror core, or what have you, that'll rip your head off and your heart out without batting an eyelash. These fiends have mastered their particular brand of emotion as well, especially rhythm guitarist/vocalist Brookelyn, whose vocals go from innocent little dead girl sticking her tongue out at you to a maniacal succubus out for flesh and blood with a knife at your throat, and uh, other body parts. No, you wouldn't wanna meet this chick in a dark alley. Nor would you do the same in regards to the rest of this band with guitarist J-Bone and his disemboweling rhythm and lead work, not to mention his hellhound on steroids backing vocals, and also with drummer Christian basically cracking your skull open with his relentless pounding. You gotta wonder why this band doesn't have a record deal; they're loud, snotty, and most of all spooktacular. Head and shoulders above most bands with a similar look and presentation. A pretty kool, or should I say ghoul, release all the way around. -DN

Slave Machine
'Disfigured Consciousness'
(Reality Entertainment)

The new Album from Slave Machine is a cross between New Metal and True Heavy Metal. This CD will really grab you and not want to let you go, and vice versa. It contains 11 tracks that totally rock on and rock out. These guys start the album out really heavy and keep the momentum going throughout the entire album. The other thing worth noting is that the photowork on the album is really good and twisted, bringing to mind images of a more depraved and twisted Betty Paige. This one is definitely worth a listen. Ghouls and fiends, I give this one 3.75 out of 5 crypts for the music, and 4.5 out of 5 crypts if we include the album photowork as well. -ML

Soda and his Million Piece Band
(sodaband.com)
When I first played this CD I thought that Beck had recorded himself throwing up after a celebratory bender. Then, I actually listened. This band perhaps doesn't really fall into the genre Crypt readers seem to prefer.
The song "July" has a Johnny Cash, Smashmouth, Echo & the Bunny Men sort of feel. I felt like I was in a Jetta commercial when I heard the line "Goin down that long dark road". The vocals on "Dirty Old Town" reminds me a little of very relaxed Bob Dylan.
Readers, I don't even know what category to list this CD under. It was very relaxing and a little depressing. This is an excellent CD to play if you are having a very mellow get together with your friends; interpret that any way you like. -Rachel

Sudden Death
'Unpure Burial'
(www.suddendeath.iuma.com)
(www.cdbaby.com)

Everything good and great Death Metal is supposed to be. That is what the latest release by Sudden Death entitled 'Unpure Burial' is. It is nasty, fast, and loud. The musicianship is just great. They are tight, and sound awesome. Everything from vocals to drums, guitars to bass, is just talent, no flash or cheese here. Track five "Damn" is my favorite. It borders more on Heavy Metal than just straight up Death Metal, but it is still all good, and they have gotten this one right too. I just can't find anything bad to say about this new disc. I give this one 4 out of 5 freshly dug graves. Good job guys!! -ML

THE COOLEST FILMS YOU DON’T OWN YET…BUT NEED TO

Okay, we all know you’ve already got SPIDER-MAN, THE MATRIX and BLAZING SADDLES on video or DVD, along with some hot two-girl action adult films. But you and your girlfriend have seen them all and you’re getting (gasp) bored. When you’re ready to step out of the mainstream, here are some offbeat films that are worthy additions to any film collection:

BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF

In Renaissance France, a mythical beast prowls the countryside and kills with impunity. A Knight (Samuel LeBihan) and his Indian blood-brother (Ass-kicking martial artist Mark DaCascos) are sent to investigate and are quickly embroiled in intrigue. B.O.T.W. combines the best elements of horror, adventure, mystery AND martial arts without getting stuck in any one genre, with some truly awesome locations and sets.  Destined to become a classic.

L.A. CONFIDENTIAL

Three police detectives in 1950s Los Angeles investigate a mass murder case that becomes a labyrinth of blackmail, corruption, prostitution and police brutality. Probably the best example of cliches that actually WORK, with a cast of Oscar Winners BEFORE they won: Russell Crowe, Kevin Spacey, Kim Basinger (Although her work her doesn’t seem all that Oscar-worthy, she looks DAMN good) and excellent support by Guy Pierce, David Strathairn and James Cromwell. This is the only “Cop drama” you’ll ever need.

ARMY OF DARKNESS

The third of Sam Raimi’s EVIL DEAD series, but by all rights a sleeper hit that stands on its own. Bruce “The Human Chin” Campbell is catapulted through time to defend a castle of outnumbered knights from a legion of rude zombies, led by his sinister double. This is probably the ONLY horror film that children should be encouraged to watch. Combines horror, action and comedy in the best example of the sub-genre “Splatstick”.

FATAL INSTINCT

A “criminally” neglected spoof of crime and courtroom thrillers like BASIC INSTINCT and FATAL ATTRACTION, this features Armand Assante as a deadpan cop/lawyer tangling with three different femme fatales (Sean Young, Kate Nelligan and Sherilyn Fenn) in an AIRPLANE-style comedy with too many laughs to count.

MEMENTO

An amazing mystery—told BACKWARDS--with a protagonist (Guy Pierce) who has no short-term memory whatsoever. Leonard Shelby is out to avenge his wife’s murder, even if everyone he meets is out to deceive him and he won’t remember it anyway. An incredible cinematic achievement that shows even budget films can blow your mind.

GO

Its publicity quote calls it “A Razor-sharp dark comedy…Son of Pulp Fiction”. But it’s actually BETTER than Pulp Fiction, because everyone gets thrown in harm’s way and LIVES to tell about it. Various Generation Xers in Los Angeles spend a night gambling, raving, scheming and cruising from one mishap to another—each part of the story seamlessly intersecting with another’s, like a chinese puzzle box. I think it’s the perfect film, and not just because I’m in it (I’m the guy getting his Ferrari stolen).

WISHMASTER

Unique in the horror genre for having a villain that can’t hurt you unless you ask it to, but being a Djinni, it’s so diabolically slick that everyone in its path end up ‘asking’ to get slaughtered. Everyone in its path includes horror greats Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, Reggie Bannister, Robert Englund and more. Highly original, with great special effects work from no less than four different companies.

THE MUSKETEER

No, not “The Three Musketeers”, THE  Musketeer. Specifically, THE Musketeer who can swordfight on top of rolling barrels, tilting ladders, or swinging from ropes fifty feet up a castle wall. Some of the most incredible stunts and fight scenes ever filmed within a lush, glamorous period piece. Tim Roth as Febre is evil personified, and loving it.

CHANGING LANES

 The triumphant return of actual DRAMA to cinema;  CHANGING LANES pits desperate single father Samuel L. Jackson vs. desperate lawyer Ben Affleck in an accident that becomes a dangerous, escalating  vendetta. Jackson is excellent as always; anyone who says Affleck can’t act has yet to see this film. The first thriller I’ve seen without a single gunshot, explosion or nude scene, that does fine without them.

FROM DUSK ‘TIL DAWN

“If you want blood…you’ve got it.” If you also want gore, ultraviolence, darkly humorous dialogue, shootouts, vampires, George Clooney as a bank-robbing antihero, Cheech Marin in three different roles AND Salma Hayek in a bikini, you’ve got it. Be advised this Quentin Tarantino robbers vs. vampires flick packs more gore than a slaughterhouse. But I say, if you want gore, get it from the best.

DIRTY WORK

While nobody ranks Norm MacDonald among the legends of the silver screen, he can be damned funny when he wants to be, and DIRTY WORK is one of the funniest comedies of the last twenty years. Norm and his friend Sam (Art Lange) form a “Revenge For Hire” business to raise money for their father’s heart transplant, but the plot is merely a chain of hysterical sketches and cameos by comedy greats like Don Rickles and Chevy Chase. Try NOT to laugh at DIRTY WORK.

THE CELL

Jennifer Lopez uses an experimental psychiatric procedure to literally enter the mind of homicidal maniac Vincent D’Onofrio…so that FBI agent Vince Vaughn might find his next victim while she’s still alive. THE CELL works as a science-fiction/fantasy, a horror movie, a psychological thriller, and a criminal manhunt with a harrowing race against time. But THE CELL is really memorable for its groundbreaking production design, effects and visuals…artwork so overwhelming it’s more of an art museum than an actual movie. A unique cinematic experience.

YELLOWBEARD

Chances are you already own MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. What that film does for Knights, YELLOWBEARD does for Pirates. Yellowbeard (Monty Python’s Graham Chapman) is a crazed legendary pirate in search of his lost treasure, with Cheech and Chong, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman,  Madeline Kahn, John Cleese, Eric Idle and even James Mason in pursuit of him. A madcap ensemble comedy not to be missed.

KATE & LEOPOLD

A wrinkle in time from 1876 to 1996 leads Leopold, Duke of Albany (X-men’s Hugh Jackman in another star turn) into a funny, touching relationship with the upwardly-mobile Meg Ryan. A “chick-flick” on its surface, but with tons of humor, warmth and class.

THE MASK OF ZORRO

The legendary Spanish freedom fighter is larger than life and better than ever in this blazing adventure. A superb debut from Catherine Zeta-Jones, excellent support from Anthony Hopkins and possibly Antonio Banderas’ best role to date. Good and evil, love and hate, heroism and greed collide in New World California, with breathtaking stunts and swordplay.

GINGER SNAPS

Not only one of the best werewolf movies of the last twenty years, but one of the best in the genre. Two high school ‘goth’ sisters obsessed
With death get a taste of the real thing when one of them is bitten by
A lycanthrope and begins mutating into a sex-crazed socialite by day and a meat-eating murderess by night. Superb performances by Emily Perkins, Katherine Isabelle and Mimi Rogers, with plenty of shocks and clever insights into families and relationships.

EQUILIBRIUM

Imagine ‘Fahrenheit 451’ made into an ACTION film, and you’ve got EQUILIBRIUM. Christian Bale delivers another star turn as the top cop of a totalitarian state where art, passion and feelings are punishable by death. A groundbreaking new stage combat technique called “The Gun Katas” creates gunfights that make ‘The Matrix’ look like child’s play, and it has awesome performances and production design for a $20 million film. If you don’t mind some ultraviolence, EQUILIBRIUM  is “The Wild Bunch” of the future.

HEATHERS

High school is all about cliques, and this dark comedy is all about how 1 clique gets away with murder by making them look like suicides.
Wynona Ryder is the film’s conscience, trying to be popular without
becoming a multiple murderer; Christian Slater is excellent as her
trigger-happy boyfriend. HEATHERS sizzles with humor, tension,   
morality, and immortalizes the line “(Blank) me gently with a chainsaw.”

BOWFINGER

Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin are in top form in this bizarre comedy,
Written by Steve Martin himself. Desperate to finally direct a film before
he turns 50, Bobby Bowfinger (Martin) tricks paranoid Hollywood star 
Kit Ramsey (Murphy) into performing in his micro-budget movie 
CHUBBY RAIN by literally stalking his every move, and casting his 
dimwitted brother Jif (also played by Murphy). Hilarious, with excellent support work by Heather Graham as an ingenue sleeping her way to the 
top, Christine Baranski as an overacting diva, and Terence Stamp as  
Murphy’s cult leader. (Cult leader? Yeah, that’s right, Cult leader.)  
BOWFINGER also spoofs the realities of filmmaking, Hollywood, and
why both of them remain so intriguing. -KK

'The Luv Generation'
Directed by Joe Gallant
(Black Mirror Productions)

     THE LUV GENERATION (from Black Mirror Productions) bills itself as “A startling Expose of today’s ‘youth culture’, torn from today’s headlines!” In actuality, it’s a testament to the American urge to make money off of absolutely anything, especially the sex drive. THE LUV GENERATION could easily be re-titled THE NIGHT WE MANAGED TO SMUGGLE A CAMERA INTO A SWINGER’S CLUB (because that’s exactly what it is), but it probably wouldn’t have sold.
     Its sole credits are “featuring Jamie Gillis”, “directed by Joe Gallant”, and “produced by Chatsworth Van Nuys”. Not one actual performer is credited, except an assurance that they’re all over eighteen years of age. Ahem…make that wayyyy over eighteen, beer bellies included. THE LUV GENERATION begins with some confusing beatnik performance-art production, then becomes a swinger’s rave. The camera follows a female swinger trying to find a place to urinate, then hooking up with a male swinger who handcuffs her to watch her urinate. He puts clothespins on her nipples, then she returns the favor, then goes down on him, then I fell asleep.
     If you’re a fan of HBO’s REEL SEX, and/or hooked on swinging and kink, you can buy THE LUV GENERATION if you’re so inclined from www.blackmirror.com, or possibly off of E-bay where it’s probably selling for a dollar or so, plus postage. -K.K.

The Mothers Anger
S/T
(Dyonisus)
I was about to slap a generic "Suck" label on this band and then, I heard "Loser"
One of the best lines in the song goes "I've hurt so many people that I've loved". What a fantastic "I've fucked up, can you forgive me" song; Guys take note!
Another fantastic song is "Bored", reminiscent of lost loves and wet dreams. It reminds me of being stuck at home, trying to avoid thinking of that certain someone; trying to get over someone. You go through moods of remorse, apathy, anger and love.
This is a great "I Got Dumped" CD. -Rachel

Twisted Sister
'Still Hungry'
(SpitFire Records)

Some would say it's suicide to completely re-record your biggest album ever, and an album which definitely made it's mark on Rock-N-Roll history. Nonetheless, Twisted Sister has done just that. They have release a completely new version of their album 'Stay Hungry', entitled 'Still Hungry'. They went into the studio to re-cut all 9 tracks, and re-cut them they did. Dee Snider and Co. wanted to go back and do the album the way they originally intended to do it, without all the glitz and schmutz. Mission Accomplished!! If you are familiar with the original version of their first full length disc 'Under The Blade' on the Secret Records label, and the re-release a couple years later on Atlantic, then you have an idea of what Twisted was trying to do. Just like the original version of 'Under The Blade', this version is also rougher, less polished, more down to the nitty gritty, and totally 100% KICK ASS Rock-N-Roll!!! They finally took off the gloves, rolled up their sleeves, and put down what should at least equal the success of the original, if not outright blow the doors off of it. "Burn in Hell" sounds more haunting, "Captain Howdy" is darker and more twisted vocally. By the way, for those of you who do not know, the concept for the movie "Stangeland" came from two of the songs on this and the original disc: "Captain Howdy" and "Street Justice". Also included on this disc are two never before released songs from the 1984 recording sessions, that have been re-recorded here for your listening and headbanging pleasure. From the "Strangeland" soundtrack, the song "Heroes Are Hard To Find" is also included, as well as four entirely new songs written and recorded in 2004, "Come Back", "Plastic Money", "You Know I Cry", and "Rock N Roll Saviors". The fans have known for years that this was one of the most talented bands to come out of the American Rock -N-Roll and 1980's Heavy Metal scene. That talent is definitely on display on eve ry single track of this album. I would list this CD as "The Surprise Album Of The Year". They have proven on this disc that Rock-N-Roll will never die and neither will Twisted Sister. I Give this one 5 out of 5 crypts. Welcome back guys!!!!!!!!! -ML

White Noise
Release Date:  January 7, 2005 (wide). 
MPAA Rating:   PG-13 for violence, disturbing images and language. 
Distributor:   Universal Pictures
Starring: Michael Keaton, Deborah Kara Unger, Chandra West, Ian McNeice, Amber Rothwell 
Directed by: Geoffrey Sax 
Produced by: Shawn Williamson, Paul Brooks, Simon Brooks, Stephen Hegyes  

To truly appreciate this movie, you need to have a basic understanding of Electronic Voice Phenomena.

A man named Fredrich Jergenson, is said to be the founder of E.V.P., he was recording birds and when he played back his tape he heard the voice of a man discussing bird songs in Norwegian.

A person trying to obtain an E.V.P. would turn on a tape recorder and let it sit recording. When the tape is finished, they would review the tape by ear or using computer programs to clean up the recordings. While most are friendly, there are a few that are defiantly not happy like this one found on the web http://kypinvestigations.tripod.com/eatsh_t.mp3 it is a pretty clear recording of a spirit saying “Eat Shit”

Keep in mind dabbling with the paranormal is like removing the doors off of your home. While it may be easier for your friends to come to visit so can everyone else.

  Our movie begins with Jonathon Rivers being told by his second wife that she is pregnant. He is elated, at work he has his assistant order a lily bouquet and chocolates for his wife. Mrs Rivers calls to let him know that she will be out with her friend but that she won’t be drinking. Mr. Rivers stays up all night waiting for her to return, he leaves several messages on her cell and even calls her friend. At 2:30am his clock stops, thinking nothing of it he fixes it.

By the morning, Mrs Rivers convertible VW Bug is found by the water. The police suspect she slipped and fell in while changing a tire. Further investigation reveals that she fell off a pier, struck her head and then was dragged out by the tide.

 The police return her belongings, including her cell phone to Jonathon. Eventually his cell phone begins to ring and caller I.D. reveals it is from Anna, his deceased 2nd wife but all she says is his name.

A man that is following Jonothon around reveals that Anna is trying to contact him. Eventually Jonothon visits the man at his house and listens to his explanation of EVP. Jonothon also meets another person seeking  otherworldly assistance who just happens to be a bookstore owner.

   While listening to recordings of Anna, Jonothon experiences the other side of E.V.P., the negative entity. He sees three shadowy figures and an angry voice yelling “FASTER”. Ian Mcniece character rushes in to turn off the replaying device and erases it. He explains that some spirits thrive on negativity.

Jonothon becomes engrossed in E.V.P., buying all sorts of electronic equipment. He tells his young son that all the T.V.s are so they can watch their favorite shows at the same time. Jonothon visits a psychic. She discovers a very negative entity when she tries to contact his wife, angry and frightened she chastises him for dabbling in something he shouldn’t. She tells him it isn’t his wife contacting him, it’s them.

The movie does a fantastic job of explaining E.V.P. and showing both sides of dabbling in the spiritual realm. I really enjoyed the movie and there are parts of it that actually made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. There were no unanswered questions and the plot moved along at a perfect pace. If you see this movie, you won’t be bored. This is not your typical horror-flick. I would categorize this is more or a Horror/Sci-Fi because E.V.P. is science based. -Rachel

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