Music CD and DVD reviews of: Black Label Society (2 reviews,) Bralalalala, The Brides, The Death Riders, Dope, The Dragons, Fist Monkey, Gwar, Hognose, Hopesick, Into The Moat, In Violet, Mad Sin, The Meteors, Ministry, Mötley Crüe,
Mushroomhead, Nocturne, Oddo, The Pervz, Satyricon, Seraphim Shock, Sister Kill Cycle, Skinny Puppy (2 reviews,) Slightly Stoopid, Slunt, Super Heavy Goat Ass, Thee Merry Widows, Velvet Revolver, and Winter Solstice.

Adult DVD reviews of: 'Alternative Worldz-Atlanta,' 'Bongwater Butt Babes,' 'Gothsend III,' Gothsend IV,' 'Lez Be Friends,' 'Off The Rack,' 'Potty Mouth,' 'Pros 3,' 'Psychocandy 1,'  'Psychocandy 2,' 'Psychocandy 3,' and 'Times Square Trash.'

Horror DVD reviews of: 'Cannibal Holocaust'

Enjoy...

Reviews by: Mark L, K.K., Mistress Purgatori, The Pusher, Dr. Graves, Typhon Blaspherion 

'Alternative Worldz - Atlanta'
(Adam and Eve Productions)

 I was excited when I looked at the box. With girls like She Devil Vixen and Memory I thought this was going to be great. Turns out this is more of a documentary of the Atlanta scene. Not necessarily a bad thing, it was very educational. Bonnie and Marisa show some light BDSM and Rubberela gives some tips on how to do some up keep on your latex.  The scene between Tabitha and Jon Stern, a married couple that does porno together, is pretty hot. Each scene starts with a little history of the performers and a little background of the sexual fetish they enjoy. The bonus DVD is full of interviews with local business owners. Bars, filmmakers, playwrights, shop owners, and even an interview with the owners of www.ConsumptionJunction.com. Every scene’s soundtrack is credited so you can check out the bands if you like. If you have been wanting to do some experimenting in your sex life and don’t really know where to start, pick up this DVD. It will show you a little from each fetish and may just give you some ideas. -Dr. G.

3 out of 5 crypts

Black Label Society
'Kings of Damnation 98-04'
(Spitfire Records)
 
In a perfect world, Zakk Wylde should need no introduction -- He's been in the business for close to 20 years, debuting on Ozzy's "No Rest for the Wicked" album way back in 1988. Since then, he's released more music than most bands today will ever get (or even deserve) to... yet I still meet people nearly every day who have no clue who he, or Black Label Society for that matter, is.
 
I usually tell them that, since we lost Dimebag last year, he's the greatest living metal guitarist on the planet - hands down. Upon further questioning (some people just don't get it...), I'd usually wander to the cd rack & have a hell of a time picking out just which cd to play them; thankfully, that's no longer a problem. . .
 
KINGS OF DAMNATION is a pre-Mafia retrospect of all things Wylde; bringing together songs from SONIC BREW through HANGOVER MUSIC, four pre-BLS recordings from the PRIDE & GLORY and BOOK OF SHADOWS cd's, and concluding with two new ones ("Doomsday Inc." & "SDMF").
 
Ironically, this project almost never happened, as Zakk thought it was "way too soon to be doing this kind of shit"... But his wife "talked him into it" by allegedly kicking him in the balls seven times (one more each album) & handing him a cocktail... So I guess it's a good thing he loves beer so much.
 
All in all, this is a good introduction to the Doom Crew, though I personally think leaving "Berserkers" off kinda sucks. But to somone just tapping the BLS keg, I'm sure it will taste great either way. And after all -- there's always room for more... -The Pusher

Black Label Society
'Mafia'
(Artemis)

 How freakin’ cool is it being Zakk Wylde? You get fame and fortune shredding in front of tens of thousands of people with the legendary Ozzy Ozbourne, You get a lead role in the movie 'ROCK STAR,' and you get your own band, the Black Label Society. Almost sounds like a deal with the devil!
      Most people merely think of Zakk as Ozzy’s guitarist. After listening to 'MAFIA,' BLS’s new 2005 CD, you discover he’s a lot more than that. In BLS he plays electric and acoustic guitar, bass, piano, talkbox, mini moog, and he’s the vocalist, songwriter and executive producer. For those who can remember his first appearance on Ozzy’s 'NO REST FOR THE WICKED' album, you almost instantly noticed one of the most unusual guitar styles around…like he had a third hand grafted to his Les Paul’s whammy bar. On 'MAFIA,' he’s not fixing anything that’s not broken. As a vocalist, he even sounds a bit like Ozzy, which is understandable after playing alongside him for so many years.
      Opener “Fire it up” is a slow, crunching dirge marrying a blues riff to a talkbox. “What’s in you” and “Suicide Messiah” sound like lost songs from Black Sabbath’s 'Vol. 4.' In fact, there’s a clear Sabbath influence permeating the entire CD. There are quieter moments, too…”In this River” is a touching eulogy to “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott, and there are several piano and instrumental breaks such as “Dr. Octavia”. One slight downer is MAFIA’s lack of fast songs, but Wylde’s fluid guitar work and ripping solos keep the album packed with more hooks than a tackle box. -K.K.

'Bongwater Butt Babes'
(Black Mirror Productions)

 I was really expecting some serious filth with this one.  The cover photos seemed pretty vulgar and wrong.  I don’t know about you, but I like my filth filthy, and I was fully expecting this to hit the mark. 
 It starts off pretty funny – like a preachy infomercial for “Living Free: Discovering God’s Path to Freedom.”  They start talking about getting over addictions to drugs and sex (which seemed appropriate). Unfortunately, it just goes on and on.  Then I realized that it wasn’t a parody, but an actual infomercial. For some reason, the disc was labeled as “Bongwater Butt Babes”, but it contained a promo for some ministry that helps people overcome their vices (who the hell would want to do that?). I’d love to see the reaction of someone who was actually expecting the “Living Free” video and ends up getting “Bongwater Butt Babes”. This had to be the funniest joke I’ve seen in a long time. -TB

5 crypts (I needed a good laugh)

Bralalalala
'Well Come To The Galaxy'
(Sonic Wave International)

Interesting. I was expecting something more glam or 80’s before I put this album in.  I was completely wrong. The riffs on this are amazing. They music is down right hard.  Thrash is obviously and influence but I wouldn’t consider Bralalalala a thrash band. Heavy hitting in every way, the only weak part of the album is the vocals. More shouting than anything, they just aren’t very good. This band could go so much farther with a different singer. After reading the bio it came to my attention that the lead singer, Erala (Jeann) Jorgensen, is a cross dresser. Though this has nothing to do with the music, it does add an interesting twist. The only thing I could closely compare this to would be a more complex Anthrax. Kinda quirky, kinda weird but definitely heavy, this album took awhile for me to get in to. Not exactly my forte but I have to give credit where credit is due. 'Well Come to the Galaxy' is an unusual take on metal, but listen to this before you buy it. -Dr. G.

2 out of 5 crypts

THE BRIDES
(Hell's Hundred Records)

 CRYPT-Keeper Dave Necro introduced THE BRIDES to me as ‘horror/death rock’ and I was all for that, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out they really weren’t. Corey Gorey, Julia Ghoulia, D.W. Friend and Gregjaw are four rock & roll freaks out of New York, cranking out weird ass CAKE-style songs to RAMONES/DONNAS no-frills rock beats. “Imagine The Addams Family forming their own rock group. Too upbeat and clean to be really ‘punk’…call it freak-rock if you will; THE BRIDES probably couldn’t care less. Their lyrics are excellent; biting and sarcastic social commentary with a gift for offbeat rhyming…Opener “Whore Money” claims “They know what they’re getting so you’ve won and they’ve become the scum you’ve made them…they’ve got their whore money ready”. The song “Pink Purple Blue” runs “Merciless/My will amiss/Forgive this kiss/Because I must take a mortal—Thoughtless/Yes, that is best/Of the flesh/Don’t protest/For I must take a mortal”, and so it goes…Main lyricist Corey Gorey loves skewering upper-class snobs (“Hoity-Toity”), Status seekers (“Hags of old Broadway”), the so-called normal people (“Normal”) and even himself  (“The Pleasure of my Company”).The Bride’s instrumentality is somewhat basic, but never pretends to be something it’s not. The sixteen songs are all in the three-minute range, enabling the Brides to beat their various topics to death quickly, and then move on. Unfortunately it’s impossible to say who plays what, because their album credits describe them as…
     D.W. FRIEND: Conspirator and Mercenary Intelligence Agent
     COREY GOREY: Semi-professional footballer, failed phrenologist
     GREGJAW: Inventor of the Chickenbomb; declined Nobel Prize due to artistic differences.
     JULIA GHOULIA: “The Brazilian Bombshell”, First female arrested for unlawful delight.
     If you need a break from the typical punk/emo rock scene, check out THE BRIDES -KK

Cannibal Holocaust
(Grindhouse Releasing, 2005)

 The American public at large has been relatively safe from the foul power of Ruggero Deodato’s Cannibal Holocaust for the better part of twenty five years. The film has existed in the public consciousness in a manner very similar to urban legend: gossiped about in the underground press, spoken of in hushed whispers by genre aficionados, persecuted by censors all over the world. For far too long Cannibal Holocaust has only been obtainable through clandestine sources as an inferior quality bootleg, but the good folks at Grindhouse Releasing have changed all that. We finally have a proper stateside release of this legendary Italian cannibal classic, and the film remains as grotesquely potent as it was at the time of its first exposure to the masses.
 Cannibal Holocaust follows an anthropology professor on his journey through the Amazon jungle to recover footage shot by a trio of maverick documentary filmmakers who have disappeared without a trace. He follows a trail of increasingly grisly clues and dangerous encounters with the natives until he unearths the film. Hoping to discover the reason for both the film crew’s disappearance and the natives’ violent behavior, he returns to New York with the footage to begin his analysis. What the professor finds is one of the most sickening abuses of tribal culture ever to be filmed. In their efforts to craft a truly sensational documentary, the missing film crew engineered several violent events in hopes of inciting a tribal war. Sickened by what he sees, the professor pleads with the film’s handlers to never release it to the public. We get to see why, in gruesome detail.
 Shot in a brutally realistic, pseudo-documentary style; Cannibal Holocaust’s influence can be seen in films as such as Man Bites Dog and The Blair Witch Project.  The viewer feels like part of the action, and the film bears an oppressive weight that is inescapable.  While many will be quick to dismiss this film as mere nasty exploitation, it is much more.  Deodato’s film plays more like a savage satire of the bloodthirsty media, and in an age dominated by reality TV and tabloid news, it is even more relevant as cultural commentary.  Drawing inspiration from Mondo Cane and Umberto Lenzi’s Man From Deep River, Cannibal Holocaust is a shock masterpiece with a lot on its mind, and a must see for serious horror fans and students of film. Cannibal Holocaust is a rewarding experience that goes far beyond mere shock value.
  Grindhouse has done an excellent job with this 25th anniversary collector’s edition DVD , which includes a pristine High Definition 16x9 transfer from the original negative, a new stereo remix of the soundtrack(featuring a stirring score by Riz Ortolani, of Mondo Cane fame), an elucidating feature length documentary, director’s commentary and liner notes by the infamous horror critic, Chas. Balun. This special edition is limited to 11,111 numbered copies, and is an absolute must have for genre buffs with iron stomachs and a willingness to be challenged. As an added bonus, this DVD is reasonably priced($20-$30). If you consider yourself a hardcore, bloodthirsty gorehound and you haven’t seen Cannibal Holocaust yet, you owe it to yourself to see what all the fuss has been about. You will not be disappointed. -Xenoglossia

THE DEATH RIDERS
'SOUNDTRACK FOR DEPRESSION'
(Horror High Records)

Hey all you fiends out there listen up! It's time to crawl out of your graves. The Hounds of Hell and Satan's cheerleaders would surely scream with fucking glee as I am if they heard this VENICE monster surf horror punk band.

THE DEATHRIDERS have two well known members. Guitarist and mastermind is the extremly multi-talented and infamous Jonny Coffin (muscian,coffincase owner,photographer etc..) and on bass is Blasko from ROB ZOMBIE's solo band.

'SOUNDTRACK FOR DEPRESSION' is 10 tracks of versatility and madness which will surely leave the listener hooked like a dope fiend.

THE DEATHRIDERS cannot be pigeon-holed into one genre of music. They have tossed all their influences(social distortion,the cramps,wall of voodoo,rob zombie etc...) and their own flavor in and 'SOUNDTRACK FOR DEPRESSION' was made. I haven't found any new music let alone whole cds that I have enjoyed this much. When I heard the cd I was blown
away. I love it from start to finish and have to play it over and over like a fucking OCD freak!

It's much like Rob Zombie's music in the sense that every track is fucking amazing and these guys aren't lacking in anything. Plus, there's nothing cheesy or campy about THE DEATHRIDERS. They ooze originality while paying homage to their influences.

Their lyrics and music are as hellish as can be and their look is just as ghoul. 'SOUNDTRACK FOR DEPRESSION' is a blissful insane deathtrip. Not 1 song on this 10 track cd sounds the same.

Two things can be said about tracks on 'SOUNDTRACK FOR DEPRESSION.'

Some tracks make you want to strip, dance and fuck. This is most apparent in the majority of the songs and a lot of my fav tracks "god hates the dirty ones, ""suffer," "under,""i'm a no one," "death in the valley," "no mercy," and "mary."

It's pure fucking blissful insanity.

But then the opposite end of the extreme with songs like "mexican radio," "turning blue," and "dead garden" which are very agressive and depressive. They make you want
to bash somebody or gash yourself.

This is not a cd to be missed. Nor are THE DEATHRIDERS a band to be missed or ignored. This may be the debut album for THE DEATHRIDERS but it's not a shit debut like
the majority of bands out there. They'll be around for a long time. So, come take a ride with THE DEATHRIDERS; let the sounds of agressive yet depressive singer Daniel Gray, pounding drums of D.C. and the screaming of Jonny Coffin's guitar and Blasko's bass soothe you into sweet death.

I give this  5 out of 5 fucking crypts. -MP

Dope
'American Apathy'
(Artemis)
 
WARNING - Listening to this cd while driving may inhibit your ability to operate a motor
vehicle at speeds even close to the legal limit...
 
Anyone who's familiar with DOPE already knows that they're one of the most underrated bands in music today... The bond between fan & band here is probably one of the strongest around; they flat-out refuse to play shows that aren't "all ages", keep their merch prices
relatively low... Hell, I've even watched Edsel fire members of his staff for infringing
upon time with his fans... That's dedication. So when I heard they were already getting ready to put out a follow-up to 'Group Therapy', I think it's pretty safe to say I was happier than W. with a new coloring book...Made even moreso by hearing the man himself spitting, "Trusting in the sanity and restraint of the United States is not an option... Go home and die".
 
Thus kicks off "I'm Back" -- and boy are they ever. DOPE are one of the few bands left that always seem to put out better & better stuff, even if radio programmers are too stupid to see it. Granted, the majority of this album would make the FCC's collective heads melt -- but is that necessarily a bad thing? (Lighten up guys... if it wasn't for FUCK-ing, none of us would be here...) "Sex Machine" is easily better than any of the new Motley Crue songs... "Let's Fuck" should be entering strip club rotation any day now... "Four More Years"/"Revolution" is mandatory listening for anyone fed up with the government... "Fuck the World" speaks for itself, lol...
 
And then we've got "I Wish I Was the President" -- and don't we all in some respect?
( "I'd have a big White House, with a yard & a fence so I could keep all the terrorists
out... I'd be king of the world - I would lie & deny and get high with little honor roll
girls.."  --  Sounds fun to me. ) "The Life" is probably my personal favorite, as it pretty much recounts a dream I think a lot of us shared: growing up, getting the Hell out of Dodge, and moving to the city. "Survive", "Bastard", first single "Always", and a cover of Depeche Mode's "People are People" round out the disc -- and I really hate to just leave it that way, but what can I say? If you're a fan of Dope, you probably already planned on picking this up...
 
If you haven't -- now's a damn good time to convert... 2008's not that far away. -The Pusher

The Dragons
'RocknRoll Kamikaze'
(Gearhead)
 A sticker on The Dragon’s “RocknRoll Kamikaze” claims the CD’s Remixed, Remastered and contains 5 bonus tracks. Unfortunately it’s not remixed or remastered enough; you can still hear Mario Escovedo’s straining, lackluster voice trying to keep up with the band. The Dragons are fast, no-frills guitar rock, but after a few listens you find yourself wishing they’d thrown in some frills somewhere…Lead Guitarist Ken Mochikoshi Horne plays energetically enough, as does Escovedo, but their guitars seem barely-tuned, making the overall sound crude and raw. Escovedo gets the lyrics out, and that’s about it. Hopefully The Dragons will let some other band member sing on their next release. -K.K.

Fist Monkey
'Fist Monkey'
(www.myspace.com/fistmonkey)

I have to say that the new self titled disc from Fist Monkey just kicks ass. This is a six song CD that is a "Gotta get ahold of it" kinda disc. All 6 songs just kick ass and it blazes thru from start to finish. Alder and crew just don’t know how to write bad music. For those of you unfamiliar with FIST MONKEY, this will be the surprise disc of the year. This is one of the great CDs of 2005. From the bass playing, to the guitar playing, to the drum work, it is just non-stop talent all the way. I give this one a 5 out of 5 crypts. Way to go guys :) Rock On! -ML

GOTHSEND III/IV
PROS 3
OFF THE RACK
(DVSX)   

      As Adult films continue to go ‘both ways’…meaning, either into the dumpster, with Z-grade schlock like ‘Anal Sluts #78’ or stabbing into the mainstream, with classier productions like PIRATES, with actual dialogue…Directors Guy DeCapo and Alex Ladd keep their fingers in both ‘pies’, serving up something between outright filth and quality ‘adult films’.
     GOTHSEND III and IV are recent offerings by DVSX (dot com, of course), each promising OVER 2 HOURS, 6 SCENES…and they deliver. There’s no plot per se, but there are plenty of ‘gothic’ backdrops, makeup, fetishes and effects to make both films stand out. New Actresses (Jen X, Taryn Thomas, Renee Pornero, Texas, Sierra Sin, Dillan Lauren, among others) are teasingly tortured throughout the series. Each scene has a unique ‘hook’: Renee Pornero and her co-star perform a dark wedding ceremony where Renee is ravished on an altar and drinks ejaculate from a chalice! Taryn Thomas gets slammed on a hospital gurney; Jen X gets nailed in a coffin. The lesser-credited but sexually ravenous BROOKLYN endures some sort of low-wattage electrical device applied to her nipples, clitoris and anus…then gets the straight-up rogering she commands from her tormentor (“Do you want To FUCK that TIGHT PUSSY?!?! TELL ME!!!”) She continually yells, but we only hear “Uh-Huh” from her co-star.    

Brooklyn should’ve been paired up with JoAnna Angel’s muscular co-star
in IV, who continually snarls “BEG FOR IT, you SLUT!!!” While hauling her towards him wrapped in thick iron chains! JoAnna looks like an X-rated version of Jennifer Connelly, but she still delivers the ‘goods’, either on her back or slithering around the blood-spattered walls of her padded cell. Those looking for ‘romantic’ porn (if that’s not an oxymoron at this point) would do best to look elsewhere; there’s a whole lot of grudge-fucking going on in GOTHSEND III and IV…yet a look at the DVD’s behind-the-scenes featurette makes it seem like it’s all in good fun, or at least all in a day’s work for the cast.       

PROS 3  has some high-quality production values, and a bit of originality in being a simulated documentary. Unfortunately, it ends up being the most banal of DVSX’s new films. Kelli Tyler, Roxanne Hall, Taylor Rain, Bailey, Jordan Fleiss and Cherokee all play upper-class, high-priced prostitutes serving an exclusive clientele of rich guys. “The talent and producers are not involved in illegal activities of any kind”, we learn at the beginning, doubtlessly leaving FBI agents everywhere to grumble “Awww, damn!” In one shadowy voice-over, a customer says “I might be in Bangkok, and want a girl from Mexico. I might be down in Mexico, and want a girl from Amsterdam! You fly her out. With my life, this is how I live.” Without a shred of common sense, I thought, but hell, it’s fiction anyway. Each scene begins with a short interview with the girls describing their glamorous lifestyles and their clients (whose faces are never seen, even during the sex scenes!) explaining why they pay for sex. Then, however, the ‘Big Money Honeys’ and their mystery johns have some fairly average sex in some fairly average bedrooms. The only slight variation is that Kelli Tyler's client has a minor foot fetish, so if you’ve ever want to see a girl take the money shot on her toes, this is your flick. PROS 3 does feature some laughs during its behind-the-scenes segment: one actress can’t say the line ‘mutually beneficial relationship’ and after repeated takes she snarls “C’mon, this is porn!” Another actress is asked to recite the alphabet, and can’t!
     PROS 3 could have done a lot more with its premise, but settled for the basics instead. Roxanne Hall, Kelli Tyler and Bailey are fun to watch in action, but that’s about it.   

OFF THE RACK is a more simplistic feature from DVSX: its only hook is that the girls have huge breasts. Alexis Amore, Panther, Brandy Talore, Lisa Sparxxx, Daphne Rosen and Rita Faltoyano are indeed serving whoppers all around, making for some bombastic bouncing in their reverse-cowgirl scenes…but it’s Rita Faltoyano’s scene that steals the show. She has slightly smaller breasts than the other actresses, and a few moles, but beyond that she’s an absolute knockout with a mesmerizing face, hair and perfect athletic body, not to mention she sucks and fucks like the sun’s about to go nova. If DVSX is smart, they’ll give Rita her own feature, or at least a lot more work. She’s one starlet who’s an absolute pleasure to watch.
     All of DVSX’s films in DVD format also feature web access, photo galleries, behind the scenes looks, solo scenes, ‘hot shots’ and trailers. One thing that’s lacking is any credit for the male performers, however, except in GOTHSEND IV (Drifter, Derrick Pierce, Christian, Buster Good, and Rick Patrick). That’s kind of a slap in the face for the guys, but it still looks like good work if you can get it.        -K.K.   

GWAR
'War Party'
(DRT Entertainment/Slavepit Records)

Just when you thought it was SAFE to enter the record store…GWAR has returned, Praise C’thulhu, and they’re nuttier than ever on their new CD 'War Party.' The Metal Mutants have never pretended to be anything else than a novelty act (they’re in fact psychology students that set out to study heavy metal’s appeal to society, and made so much money in doing so that they’ve never looked back), but over time they’ve become actual musicians. They used to sound like Cannibal Corpse; on 'WAR PARTY' they almost sound like Megadeth. GWAR’s main appeal is as a theatrical shock-rock show with outlandish costumes and gory props (at one show ‘Oderus Ungerus’ tore a ‘roadies’ arm off to douse the audience with fake arterial blood); their other strong suit is their crazy lyrics (Their peaceful political philosophy is clearly stated in the opener “Bring Back The Bomb” “Krosstika” is a hymn to “two great tastes that hate great together”). Some songs like “Bonesnapper” and “You can’t kill terror” would make great horror movie tracks, if GWAR took themselves more seriously…but they shouldn’t, and neither should you. They’re just bloody good fun. Join the 'WAR PARTY' and find out for yourself  -K.K.

Hognose
'El Sombrero'
(ArcLight records)

Crossing rockabilly and 80’s heavy metal, Hognose, is an interesting idea for a band. The first track “Weed Billy” off their latest release “ El Sombrero!” is a beer drinking, hell raising, fast and furious beginning to an other wise mediocre album.  The guitar work on the intro to “Local Honey” is inspiring but soon the song slips into the 80’s heavy metal arena.  “Muffin” is slow and seems to drag on. In fact the whole album seems to never end. There is nothing particularly outstanding about this album. Some self editing, and focusing on one genre would help Hognose reach more of the audience they are looking for. 'El Sombrero!' leaves you with the feeling that you have heard all this before. That it’s the same thing in a different package. Even the hidden song, though it is interesting, is a cover of Pink Floyd. Unless you have heard Hognose before, and you like them, I wouldn’t suggest this album to anyone. 1 out of 5 crypts. -Dr. G.

Hopesick
‘Look What You’ve Done’
(Sofla Records)
www.hopesick.com

Hopesick. What can I say. These guys just have it all down, all together. There new album is just really good punk rock. It isn’t old school like the Sex Pistols or The Ramones, it is more of the new school punk rock, but they have done a really good job on this album. This is one of the better releases to come out in a while. Production values are excellent on the album as well. Pretty much every song just rocks, and rocks hard, fast, and well. Very impressive!!!! I give this one 4 out of 5 crypts. Way to go guys!!!!!!! -ML

Into The Moat
'The Design'
(Metal Blade Records)

 'The Design,' the new album by Florida band Into The Moat is a thrashing good time.  They come out firing on “Century II” and are unrelenting until the very end “Prologue To The Campaign.” This band is young having only been around a few years and the fact that all the members are between the ages of 20 and 23. They know the exact sound they want. The rapid fire guitar and drum work laid down by Mathew Grossman. Kit Wray, and Rob Shaffer on “The Inexorable” will blow your ear drums. Soon to be on tour, and soon to be the front runners in their genre, watch for these guys. Their first single “Dead Before I Stray” will soon be slipping onto the late night airwaves, so listen for it. -Dr. G.

3 out of 5 crypts

In Violet
‘In Violet’
(www.myspace.com/inviolet)

What do you get when you take straight rock, early American hardcore, Sly and The Family Stone, the vocal stylings of Melissa Etheridge, and the bass playing of Flea? You get the latest release from In Violet. This self titled effort rocks start to finish, no complaints whatsoever. This is just a phenomenal straight rock/hard rock release. The band is so dead on on this CD and it is so well produced and mixed, it makes you wonder if you are actually listening to a CD or listening to them live.

I have absolutely nothing but good things to say about this CD. I give it a 5 out of 5 crypts!!!!!!! This band rocks, give this CD a chance and I think you will love it as much as I do, if not more so. -ML

'Lez Be Friends'
(Black Mirror Productions)

 Black Mirror Productions is known for putting out some really disgusting filth.  This, comparatively speaking, was pretty tame. The overall quality of the film was amateur, but not bad.  It’s a bit odd to see condoms being used on sex toys, but in this era of “safety first”, it’s somewhat understandable. Most of the girls are decent looking, and the most revolting thing I had to endure regularly in this one was seeing the girls pissing after each scene. 
 Angel Baby is the star of the movie, and appears in every scene. The first scene is called “Suzanne’s Night of Torment”. Suzanne is an unattractive woman with a Sinead O’Connor haircut, and a very butch style – right down to the fact that she’s wearing men’s briefs.  The action is very fetish oriented, complete with ball gags and hot wax. After all the action scenes, it cuts to Angel pissing on the floor.  
 The second scene is called “Power Tools” and begins with an unidentified Hispanic girl and another unidentified Black girl doing masonry work wearing strap-ons. Angel shows up, and the action begins. It becomes very obvious that Angel is way into anal. If you’re into all girl porn, this scene is definitely kinky and nasty in a good way.
 Scene three, “Sweet Cinnamon”, is a pretty standard girl/girl scene. Cinnamon is a fairly attractive black girl, and she really seems to enjoy the action. Lots of anal action and use of double ended dildos complete the scene. After the action is over, it cuts to a scene of Angel and Cinnamon pissing on a bed (and each other?).
 The final scene is boring and very disappointing. It’s called “Shyla’s Bondage Fantasy”. Shyla is using every possible way to hide her identity, like covering her face, wearing a wig, being blindfolded through the entire scene. The first disturbing thing about this scene is the close up on Shyla’s nether regions. She has moles that make her ass and pussy look like they’re infested with bugs. The other disturbing thing comes a bit later, and involves lube and other “residue” on a string of anal beads after they’ve been removed from Shyla. 
 Overall, it’s not a bad movie. The girls are nasty enough to get into some hardcore filth, but still not ugly skanks. If you’re into all girl porn, it’s worth checking out if you can’t find anything else that seems more interesting. -TB

2.5 crypts

Mad Sin
'Survival of the Sickest'
('I used to fuck people like you in prison' records)
(licensed by Cargo music for north America)

All you psychobillies out there will love 'Survival of the Sickest' from Mad Sin. The rockabilly riffs laid down by Tex Morton and Dr. Solido on “Revenge” are infectious. Big Koefte Deville’s vocals on “1000 eyes” almost sound heartbroken.  Of course you can’t forget the ever present Holly Le Slap on slap bass stirring up the pot in songs like “Senseless Species” and “Class Warpath.” Their German accents sneak in here and there but it only adds to the layers of what Mad Sin is. They have the style, the look and the Hellvis to win over any doubters. 'Survival of the Sickest' is a wildly good album with the added bonus of a list of German bars to drink at on the inside of the case. 4 out of 5 crypts. -Dr. G.

The Meteors
'These Evil Things'
(Cargo Music)

Hell yeah!!! 
I wasn’t very familiar with this band before listening to this disc, but I’m definitely paying attention now. 
Paul Fenech’s vocals sound as if he’s been up for the last three days blowing coke, smoking non-filtered Lucky Strikes, drinking straight 151 and screaming at the top of his lungs…and it couldn’t sound better. 
The band crosses over several genres and shines in each one.  The second track on the disc, “Dog”, almost sounds as if it could pass for a kids’ song.  It’s very upbeat, and it gets stuck in your head. 
Track four, “To the Devil, a Daughter”, is fast, driving, and just by listening to the album, you can envision mosh pits thrashing in a circle while the band rips through the song.  It almost makes you want to get up and start a pit, even if you’re listening to the disc by yourself. It’s immediately followed up with “Bonebag”, which sounds almost like a bluegrass tune.  I could see Hank Williams III doing the song just as easily as The Meteors.
The biggest thrill I got from this album had to be track seven.  It’s one thing to hear a band covering Judas Priest’s “Breaking the Law”, but it’s something altogether different to hear it done as a surf rock song.
This is definitely one worth checking out. Any psychobilly fan that hasn’t heard this album needs to get off the computer and go buy it. Right now. -TB

4 crypts

Ministry
'Houses of the Mole`'
(Sanctuary)

Showing why he is heralded as the godfather of industrial, Al Jourgensen
is back with another ass kicking album.  Showing his contempt for
George Dubya from the first song “No W” to the last “untitled”, he
interweaves sound bites into a full blown audio assault, while still
holding onto the core of what makes Ministry great.  With speeding
guitars and pounding drums this album will no doubt churn mosh pits and
drive people into a frenzy just like, if not faster than, the rest
have.  Returning to their original sound Jourgensen updates what made
“Psalm 69” so great.  With songs ranging from the rapid fire “WTV” to
the lumbering “World” and the almost melodic “Worm”.  Jourgensen's
vocals are blunt, delivering his social commentary like a tornado in a
trailer park.  If you don't have this album yet, dig through your couch
for change and buy it. Now! -Dr. G.

Mötley Crüe
'Red, White, and Crue'
(Hip-O Records/Motley Records)

Back in the day, NO ONE was a bigger Motley fan than I was, despite
the fact that I was probably only in second grade the first time I
heard 'Shout At The Devil'. (What can I say? I have cool parents) I
used to sit in my room with my headphones on, cranking up their records
in brainwash rotation, while the other kids in my neighborhood went
fishing, or frogging, or whatever the Hell kids who grow up in the
sticks do for fun. But not me. I wanted no part of it, as evidenced
by my being sent to the office more times than I can count for wearing
my "Kickin' Ass on the Wild Side of YOUR Town" tour shirt to school one
too many times.(And that was only by 5th grade, lol)

So when the chance came to review this retrospect, needless to say, I
was all over it like Michael Jackson on a nine year old. Though, regrettably,
disappointed with what I got.

I don't know...maybe I got spoiled by listening to the majority of
these tracks on VINYL (remember that stuff?) for so many years, because
now that they've been remastered--a lot of the songs don't seem to
pack the same punch that they used to. In other words, everything
pre-Dr. Feelgood sounds like a neutered pit bull: still monstrous,
just without the balls.

And, as any true Crue fan will tell you, Motley has only ever been four
guys: Tommy, Nikki, Vince, and Mick, so anything that doesn't have
that line-up on it really shouldn't be on here anyways. (I'm still
kicking myself in the ass 11 years later that I actually bought 'Motley
Crue' over 'the downward spiral'...lol) And that's not to say that
the Corabi-era songs are bad, they're just not Motley Crue, anymore
than a good cover of the Stones' "Street Fighting Man" without Tommy on
the drums is.

But hey, that's just my opinion...

There are a few saving graces that make this package work, though:
"Toast of the Town" is one of those songs that Z-Rock used to play the
Hell out of back then, but you could never get a good copy of, and
"Black Widow" was probably only ever left off of 'Shout' because of the
limitations of pressing vinyl. "If I Die Tomorrow" & "Sick Love Song"
are easily the best new songs these guys have done in years, but
overall...

If you don't have a Motley Crue greatest hits package (and what are
there now, 3 or 4 of them?), I guess you could do worse than this one.
I just can't see anyone that already has all of the studio albums
shelling out $20 a pop for 4 or 5 songs they might not have when you
could probably download your missing tracks off of Napster or I-Tunes
for a lot less cash. -The Pusher

Mushroomhead
VOLUME 1 (DVD)
 
Growing up in northeast Ohio in the 90's, there wasn't really a whole lot to do besides go
to shows... and Mushroomhead was the band to see; they were loud, abrasive, and offensive. And then, something all too indentical came moseying out of Iowa -- and people here were pissed. I can still remember the first time Slipknot came to Cleveland -- I interviewed Corey after the show, and he seemed none too pleased that he'd been pelted with a Mushroomhead logo banner during their set, or that various other members of the 'Knot had been hauled off by Cleveland'd finest (allegedly for jumping into the crowd & getting in fights with other members of Mushroomhead who'd been throwing padlocks & screws at them). Still, Mushroomhead pressed on -- preaching about how much they loved Cleveland, and how they didn't want a greedy record company coming in and taking all their cash.
 
Enter Universal Music and their Brinks truck.
 
For a long time after that, it was hard to even hear a Mushroomhead song on Cleveland radio, as most of the local metal shows refused to play them, citing how "they sold us out." (A long standing rumor declared that Mushroomhead had fired everyone from Cleveland that worked for them when they got their major-label deal.) And I guess that's partially true -- they do sell out... Every show they play in Cleveland.
 
Yet at the same time, there's still a lot of animosity held by the fans... When Mushroomhead held their release for this dvd @ the legendary Peabody's Downunder (which highlights life on tour, and has all of their videos, but kinda feels like one of the older, BETTER Pantera ones), a lot of people seemed pissed they shelled out $100 for a mask they couldn't get signed "because it wasn't a dvd".
 
But hey -- ya can't make everyone happy, right? I'm sure "it's just business".
 
Still, anyone who's ever liked, loved, or worshipped Mushroomhead enough to go along for the ride will probably want this; Lots of gun-filled fun @ the studio, drunken rampages on the bus, and all the footage of J. Mann you're probably never going to see again, since he's no longer in the band. All in all, not too bad, but I guess I expected more... Would've been nice to see some old stuff with Roxy on here, or at least some live stuff in place of all the pranks.
 
Let's hope they're around long enough to do a Volume 2... -The Pusher

Nocturne
'Guide To Extinction'
(Triple X Records)

This c.d. can pretty much be summed up in two words: holy fuck. . .

The second I put it in my c.d. player, I thought that the grilles were going to melt off of my speakers – much like the eardrums of my neighbors, who beat on the adjoining walls for hours, begging me to turn it down. ( Sorry, guys. . . aint gonna happen. As the old saying goes, “If it’s too loud, you shouldn’t have moved next door to me. )

“Alibi” is proof positive that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned – Especially when said woman is Lacey Conner. See, Lacey has one of those voices that just draws you in & makes you want to mix Molotov cocktails in your garage. And when she openly states that “Violence isn’t the answer / Yeah, but it’s a start” (‘Passion’), it’s hard not to believe her.

Equally as impressive is the songwriting prowess of Chris Telkes. . . ‘Shallow’, ‘Class War’, and ‘Dead Man’ should be mandatory listening for anyone with a full tank of gas, a penchant for road rage, and a couple hours to kill – especially if they live within driving distance of Washington D.C.:

“If you think that you were born too late
See what a difference a bomb in your hands makes
Leave this world with a lasting impression
Blow up the capitol with Congress in session”

Nice. = )

With thirteen tracks in all, including a cover of Renegade Soundwave’s ‘Cocaine Sex’, this disc is a must-have in the collection of anyone who worships at the alters of the Genitorturers, Society 1, Jack Off Jill, and Ministry. . . Buy it, take it to your local strip club, and bribe the d.j. to blast ‘Indulge’. ( It’s gotta make for an interesting lap dance, or at least a night of fun with some handcuffs, a blindfold, and a willing partner ) And, yeah, maybe ‘Dirty Sanchez’ sounds like Primus’ ‘Welcome to this World’ on mushrooms – but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Overall, this is easily the best record I’ve heard this year and, I’ll bet you shot for shot, somewhere – Wendy O. Williams is smiling. . . -The Pusher

ODDO
‘Never Odd or Even’
(OddyScoddyMusic)
www.theoddo.com

The new album from ODDO is a welcome addition to the New Wave Of American Heavy Metal. ‘Never Odd or Even’ is very well written, has great sound quality, and every member of the band is very talented and it shows. The song "Man In Blue" puts a definite new spin on the typical cop song. It is like taking a 90 minute police drama and putting it into a 3 minute and  50 second song. Question is "does it work"? Answer is "extremely well". The CD also has bonus features such as video clips, studio diary, and much more. Way to go guys, great job on this CD. I give this one 4.25 out of 5 crypts!!! -ML

The Pervz
(Self-produced Demo; www.thepervz.com)

Ever dig the Sex Pistols, but thought an American band could do better? The Pervz are that band. They’re the most ‘perv-ectly’ raw, unpretentious punks to be heard in quite some time. One wishes their self-titled demo was longer, but its seven songs rock appreciably…”Pieces of You” sets the trio’s irreverent, fun-loving tone with the lyrics ”Baby it won’t be so bad/When you’re chopped up in my bag/’Cause I got my/Pieces of you”. Other songs like “I want it now” and “She said” thrash with tight, excellent hooks, and the band only briefly slows down on “Pill”. There are no solos and the songs are over quickly, but they all still sound great, even if you’re not a punk fan. Only trouble is, as a self-produced demo, you’re going to have to keep your eyes peeled to find this CD…visit www.thepervz.com, or see them live. Hopefully some label will sign The Pervz pretty soon, as they’re destined for bigger and better things -K.K

'Potty Mouth'
Black Mirror Productions

 I have never been more disturbed by a movie. It wasn’t the bad acting or the surgery scars that really got me. It was the squirting of the milk enemas.  Yes, you heard me right. I thought I had seen the worst this DVD had to offer but then came the chocolate milk and chocolate chip references. To really top all that off they drank it.  At some points even the talent looked disgusted. Don’t get me wrong there where some decent oral, anal, and straight fucking. But, the bombardment of milk squirting asses in every scene kind of sticks with you. I don’t know what I am more appalled by, the people who sell this, the people who came up with this idea, or the actresses (and I use that term loosely) that agreed to do it.  I feel bad for the people that had ass milk rained upon them from a high-rise New York City apartment.  I wouldn’t even subject a blind man to this torture. -Dr. G.

0 out of 5 crypts

'Psycho Candy Vol. 1'
(Pirate Booty Productions)

 From the beginning you can tell that they didn’t spend a lot of money on this.  Over looking the production staff slipping in and out of the screen and Benny Profane (director/actor) giving directions while filming, it’s a decent film. Desire Moore and Profane start it off dressed in the cheesiest pirate and prostitute costumes I’ve seen.  They run through the usual positions that we all use. There are a few things that stood out in next scene with LiLi Anne and Profane. The very vocal LiLi Anne starts with a very interesting vibrator, in fact a Hello Kitty vibrator.  The real shocker here though is the absence of “the money shot.”  After lavishing LiLi Anne with praise, Profane admits that it is just not going to happen and that is the end. Next we have two film virgins, Violet Skye and Jonathon Daggers. Skye is attractive but her and Daggers just don’t seem to be able to get into a rhythm. Sometimes looking bored and other times looking forced, whatever it was there was no chemistry. Now on to the crowning jewel, Zoe Mathews was the best looking in this whole DVD. The connection between Mathews and Profane is very apparent. Sometimes feeling like you are watching a couple together. Profane does fumble around a bit but still manages to make the scene work. Renting this would be the best way to go, if at the very least for Zoe Mathews. -Dr. G.

2 out of 5 crypts

'Psychocandy 2'
(Pirate Booty Productions)

 I was really looking forward to watching this after seeing the cover shots.  Hot goth chicks in a porn flick is something that is absolutely needed, and on that front, Psychocandy 2 delivers.
 Unfortunately, I can’t say much else in a positive light about this movie.  Some of the girls were really hot, the rest were anything but.  The entire film is full of extremely bad camera work (I’ve seen better home movies).  There’s 35 mm camera flashes throughout the movie, which are annoying.  (You’d think they could wait until they were done filming to take their promo stills.) There is a terrible soundtrack that sounds like it was made on an Atari 2600.  The worst part is that all of the scenes are boring as hell to watch.
 The first scene starts with Jonathan Daggers and Nicole Parks smoking out of a hookah.  Judging by the way Nicole acts through the whole scene, it must be some damn good weed.  She seems bored and listless, although she could just be really high.  Nicole Parks almost looks like a post-op Robert Smith (of The Cure).  It’s bad enough that the scene sucks, but it even ends with a botched pop shot (Daggers couldn’t get the condom off quick enough.)
 The next one features Missy Misfit and Benny Profane.  It’s full of bad editing and worse camera work.  Many of the action scenes are obscured by bad angles.  Oral scenes are boring as hell because all you see is the back of Profane’s head. Part of the problem is that Profane is the director, and is giving direction while he’s acting.
 Scene three is just ridiculous.  It features Raycee, an unattractive blonde, in a saloon girl costume, and Benny Profane returns as “Blackbeard”.  That’s right, he’s in a fucking pirate costume.  As soon as I heard him say “Shiver me timbers”, that was enough for me.  Thank fuck for fast-forward. 
 Just when I was about to give up all hope, I saw Spanish Crave, the girl in the next scene.  She’s hot as hell.  I thought that maybe it would make up for the rest of the movie, but it was the same old shit.  More bad camera work, more bad angles, more bad sex. 
 Scene five sucked as much as the rest of the movie, and I gave up on watching it and decided to check out the bonus scene.  How you would consider this a bonus is beyond me.  It’s Benny Profane and Zoe Matthews and it looks like it was shot in a small apartment’s kitchen.  All this scene consists of is Profane undressing Zoe Matthews, pausing to grope, fondle, lick or whatever, and then he dresses her in a “goth” outfit.  As soon as she’s dressed, the scene ends.
 This movie was a huge disappointment. -TB

1.5 crypts

'Psychocandy 3'
(Pirate Booty Prodcutions)
 
As if watching volume 2 of the Psychocandy series wasn’t bad enough, I got to sit through volume 3.  More of the same problems, with different actors.  If you want an idea of what I’m talking about, read the review for volume 2. 
 Five scenes altogether, and they feature more variety as far as actors go, but it still all seems very amateur and boring. -TB

1.5 crypts

RPG
'Fulltime/High Performance'
(ArcLight Records)

 The split CD/DVD “Fulltime/High Performance” from RPG is how I would love to see things happen in the future.  A mass amount of entertainment and product all in one package.  Although not a big fan of lead singer Matt Conner’s voice these Virginia boys still have made a good album. “Stand still blues” and “Untuck It” are amazing blues rock songs. When guitarist John Partin takes over lead vocals on “Ghetto rose” he leads the band to a hard rocking area they don’t seem to get back to on the rest of the album. “20 Year Old Idiot” describes so many people in the world that you just can’t argue with it. Overall, this album is fair but there is a lot of push from their record label. Be watching for there first two singles “Early ‘72” and “Nazi Mindreader.” 
 As for the DVD “High Performance” is a tongue in cheek look at RPG. Filled with interviews with all band members and live performances.  It shows a little bit of what life is like trying to tour and make videos.  More entertaining than the album, “High Performance” is quirky showing off the attitudes and humor of the band.  It follows the band on a short tour from east coast Virginia to west coast Utah and through the south into Texas. “Fulltime/High Performance” is a good album and a great DVD.  -Dr. G.

3 out of 5 crypts

Satyricon
'Volcano'
(Red Int/Red Ink)
Holy shit!!!
I don’t know what it is about living in Scandinavian countries that makes the music from there evil as all hell, but it seems to be a theme.  Satyricon, form Norway, is band consisting of just 2 members, and both are extremely talented.  Satyr handles the vocals, as well as guitars, bass, synth, strings, and everything else except the percussion.  Frost takes the drums and pounds them into oblivion, showing a talent that is damn near unparalleled. 
I’m not a huge fan of black metal, but this is definitely one band that any black metal fan should check out, and take notice.  One thing that struck me about this band is the fact that they are definitely evil, without the gloomy “doom” sound and without being excessively angry and violent in their lyrics. 
Musically, they remind me a lot of Dimmu Borgir, only more talented. Other bands that come to mind are Darkthrone and Mayhem.  Some have made comparisons to Cradle of Filth, but I didn’t really hear it on any tracks other than “Fuel For Hatred”, which is the sonic equivalent of a strong-arm robbery taking place in a field of daisies.  Speaking of which, there’s a video for “Fuel For Hatred” on this disc. 
There are a few tracks on this album that feature additional vocals, courtesy of Anja Garbarek.  Her voice is absolutely incredible, and lends a totally different dimension to the songs.  This especially shows through on “Black Lava”, which is long, but not to the point of being boring. 
Satyricon is taking black metal in a new direction, and doing a good job of leading the revolution. -TB
3.5 crypts

Seraphim Shock
'Halloween, Sex N’ Vegas'
(Sacrilege Records)
 The next item out of Dave Necro’s Trick Bag is SERAPHIM SHOCK’s CD “Halloween, Sex ‘N Vegas.” Fans of Marilyn Manson and Danzig ought to be all over this one like crust on a pie. “Sin City” starts out with horror movie blurbs then becomes a hammering industrial anthem of a Las Vegas murder spree. “Shapeshifter” is a creepy goth love affair, The title track describes necrophilia, and it just gets darker from there (although “Morning Star” is hauntingly beautiful, it seems to be over in moments). All the tracks are heavy and brooding, but “White Trash Satan” rocks the hardest.
     Main songwriter Charles Edward crams the CD full of hedonism, death and satanic imagery, which would get old really fast (the satan schtick has been bled dry by everyone from Venom to My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, for decades now), except he’s got the perfect voice for it…low, chilling and operatic. Sexy backing vocals by Miss Daisy Grave add a nice touch, and creepy sound effects abound, making this the perfect CD for your next Halloween party…that is, if Seraphim Shock doesn’t kill you and have sex with your corpse first -K.K.

Sister Kill Cycle
'Massacre The Guilty'
(Negative Image Entertainment/Wicked Disc Records)

If anyone out there in CRYPTland is producing one of those post-apocalyptic “Road Warrior” type science fiction films, you’ll be happy to know that SISTER KILL CYCLE has already made the soundtrack for you, with MASSACRE THE GUILTY.

There are only 6 songs on this EP, but they’ve all got that modern goth-industrial-rave-rock feel…ten bucks says some ravers out there are trying to dance to this right now (then of course, ravers will dance to anything.) Lead singer Raven Chain has the popular Marilyn Manson howl down pat, while Mykill (guitars), Suicide (bass), and Jon Chain (drums) crank out a loud, solid (if slightly monotonous) nu-metal beat…luckily keyboardist Jensen is there to add some classy tones to the mix. Lyrics are chock-full out modern angst: the cheerful chorus of “Guilty” is “I’ve got a gun in my hand…now you’re gonna die.” Although there’s a bit of variety, too: “Today” sounds like an actual love song, while “Green Fairy” praises Absinthe.

While not exactly brimming with originality, Sister Kill Cycle is definitely in the right place at the right time. If you’re into the heavy-industrial-rave-rock thing, Sister Kill Cycle’s 'Massacre The Guilty' will fit neatly into your collection…but they’ll need to come up with something that makes them stand out, if they don’t want to get lost in the rave-rock shuffle. -K.K.

Skinny Puppy
'The Greater Wrong Of The Right'
(Synthetic Symphony/SPV Records)

While not being a Goth fan in particular, I understood that Skinny Puppy are/were the Granddaddies of the genre, So when Dave Necro broke them out of his trick bag I figured I might as well check ‘em out.

The artwork and illustrations on the CD are probably the most grotesque-looking shite I’ve seen anywhere; one looks like a collection of internal organs being riddled by parasites, while another is of some zombie-looking guy eating maggots and getting brain surgery at the same time, then there’s bandmembers Mark Walk and cEvin Key pressing their bleeding faces up against a clear window.

As the CD played, I was reminded of a scene from MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000; the astronaut is demonstrating to his robot pals how to make a new-age record. “OK, see this note here? Hit that note, and then you hold it ‘until you get a record deal.” That’s not calling Skinny Puppy ‘One-Note Wonders’, but the songs do come off as near-identical synthesizer exercises until about track four (“Neuwerld”) which is livened up by some actual singing and understandable lyrics. There is a lyric sheet included, but it’s one solid block of words, not even telling you which song is which.

After a while, though, the CD started growing on me…even if the songs were nearly-identical synthesizer exercises, they were strangely, hypnotically catchy. Maybe there was a hidden subliminal message looped in there going “Keep playing it…keep playing it…”  There are some cool guitar and drum fills here and there, (especially on “Downsizer”), and the lyrics are more modern angst but they’re delivered smoothly and melodically.

If you’re a Goth, you’ve probably already got this CD. If you don’t, hook you up some Skinny Pup. -K.K.

Skinny Puppy
'The Greater Wrong of The Right'
(Synthetic Symphony/SPV Records) 

 Here's something I never thought I'd see; a new Skinny Puppy album.
 I admit that I was a little apprehensive at first, yet anxious to hear
it.  After all, it's been years since Ogre and ceVin Key have worked
 together, not to mention that it was Dwayne Goettel's death that led
 to the split.
  When I first got "The Greater Wrong of the Right," I couldn't wait to
 hear it, and I was pleasantly surprised.  Though definitely different
 from older Skinny Puppy releases, I found the overall sound to be more
 "evolved" rather than "changed."
  First, Dwayne Goettel's beats were never this clean.  The new sound
 is much more refined, with Ogre's vocals clearly cutting through the
 mix.
  Second, (and this is where a lot of  "purists" are getting pissed),
 the sound is not as noisy as before.  Though still chaotic, more
 attention has been paid to musical harmonies.
  Many people have complained that Skinny Puppy have sold out and
 jumped on the "anti-Bush" bandwagon with this release.  Although the
 prevailing theme is railing against the conservative right, I say that
 hardly constitutes "selling out."  After all, Skinny Puppy's lyrics
 have always had something to say about social and/or political issues.
  In all honesty, I think that this entire collection could have been
 released as a new OhGr album, as ceVin Key's contributions are pretty
 much unnoticeable. Overall, "The Greater Wrong of the Right" is hit
 and miss. The only standout tracks are "I'mmortal", "Pro-Test",
 "Empte", "Use Less" (which features guest appearances by Danny Carey
 of Tool and Wayne Static of Static X), "Goneja", and "Daddyuwarbash".
 Incidentally, these are the first three and last three tracks on the
 album. The middle tracks, unfortunately, are a bunch of so-so filler.
 3 out of 5 Crypts -TB

Slightly Stoopid
'Closer to the Sun'
(Caliplates Records)

 For anyone who has never heard of Slightly Stoopid, here is a little history.  Slightly Stoopid consists of Miles Doughty on guitar, bass, and vocals, Kyle McDonald also on guitar, bass, and vocals, Ryan Moran on drums, and Oguer Ocon on congas, percussion, harp, and vocals.  Originally signed to Sublimes label, Skunk, now they release their records on there own label, Stoopid Records. 
 There 5th album “Closer to the Sun” reunites there all-star production team, Miguel (Sublime), Chris D (G. Love and Special Sauce), and Dub Reggae legend Scientist. With all that talent this album still lacks in every way.  Vocals from both Kyle and Miles range from choppy and forced to unintelligible.  Some songs on this album sound like bad Sublime karaoke (Somebody).  While other songs feel more like Snow with a backup band (Till it Gets Wet). Whatever sound they were shooting for, they seriously missed their mark. A few songs leave their genre completely.  There attempts to rock on “Nuthin’ Over Me” and “Righteous Man” are at best decent. “Comb for My Dome” is catchy, funny, and sounds like something from the stripped down swing era. “Open Road” is an anomaly all by itself, a southern fried folk rock song I wasn’t expecting. There are, however, a few diamonds in the rough. The acoustic “Intro”, “Basher”, and “Zeplike” are amazing and show off the bands influences. The Sublime protégé’s finally get the white boy, stoner, reggae, dance hall equation right on “Babylon is Fallin” and “Older”.  By far the best songs are “Ain’t Got a lot of Money” and “Waiting”. I wouldn’t suggest running out now and buying this, but if you have a few extra dollars, and happen to see it, you might think about picking it up. 2 out of 5 crypts. -Dr. G.

Slunt
'Get a Load of This'
(Repossession Records)

 Fantastic. Slunt slides in under the radar. Hailing from the oh so eclectic music scene in New York City, they ride in on the speaker blowing “Get a Load of This.”  From the beginning to the end I was hooked. Slunt is what you get with the right amount of punk, rockabilly, old school rock ‘n’ roll and attitude. Jenny Gunns on bass (who has since left the band and been replaced by Isle Baca) and Abby Gennet on vocals put a sexy face on a solid band. “Ok Ok” is a fast and catchy rock song that just makes you want to bounce. Pat Harrington’s driving guitar riffs and the pure cockiness that oozes from Gennet on “The Best Thing”, convince you of how good this band really is. The entire album is a sexually fueled, ass-kicking ride. If you have heard anything from Slunt it would be their suggestive single and Romeo Void cover “Never Say Never.” If you haven’t heard anything from these guys, pick up this album. Put it in your c.d. player, turn the volume all the way up and expect to rock all night. With the amount of talent Slunt has they will soon be dominating the stages of the world. 4 out of 5 crypts. -Dr. G.

Super Heavy Goat Ass
'60,000 Years'
(ArcLight Records)

 “Sweet Home, God Damn, I’m a mother fucking Texas man!” Lead singer Russell Abbot growls these opening lines of “SSOB”, that so describe Super Heavy Goat Ass. Their new album “60,000 Years” does have a more galactic title to it, but they did not change or leave behind there southern roots.  With Derek Halfamann on guitar, Tim Hurt on drums, and Brent Boepple on bass “Built to Last” sonically encourages you to shoot some Jack and get rowdy.  The guitar work on “Soundman” pays respect to the 70’s southern rock that so obviously influences them. “60,000 Years” will drag you back to a time of joints, Lone Star Beer, and GTO’s. This band is more than a interesting name. They are 4 talented musicians that play the music that they like and don’t care what anyone else thinks. Pick this album up for those times when you’re wanting a fix of that old school rock ‘n’ roll.
3 out of 5 crypts. -Dr. G.

'Thee Merry Widows'

 While Thee Merry Widows show some definite potential, I can’t say that this album made me want to rush right out and catch their live show.  For one, all four of the songs on this disc sound similar enough that it becomes hard to tell one from the other.  It also sounds as if the whole band is holding back and not really giving 100% in the studio.
 It becomes very apparent after about 30 seconds of listening that two of the band’s main influences are The Cramps and The Misfits.  Not that this is a bad thing, but Thee Merry Widows don’t stray far enough from their influences to take on an original sound.
 On the first track, “Grave Robbers (From Outer Space)”, the only thing that really stands out is the use of a theremin.  Miss Eva von Slut’s vocals seem very subdued, although you can tell that she is most likely more versatile as a vocalist than this album shows.
 The second track, “Cruel Mistress”, is very generic sounding and short.  You’d think that with only four tracks on the whole album, they’d want to showcase their best stuff.  If this is it, I’m not impressed.
 “Girl Assassins” shows promise, and perhaps at a live performance it might even inspire more than just some toe tapping and head bobbing.  Unfortunately, it still sounds as if the entire band is holding back.
 “The Curse” is the only track that really stands apart from the others, and not by much.  It’s almost as if the entire band finally woke up.  If the rest of the album sounded like this, it might have gotten a better rating. -TB

2 crypts.

'Times Square Trash-Volume 2'
Black Mirror Productions

 I wasn’t expecting much from a DVD that does not credit a single actress. The only credit in the whole thing is “a film by Joe Gallant.” The production was very amateur and shaky.  It seemed more like a home video. The scenes were a collection of sex acts that I didn’t think I would ever see. Starting with an enema filled ass being thoroughly reamed.  The sound alone made me want to turn it off, but I trudged on. The next scene started off promising with a very cute tattooed, pierced, and deadlocked actress and her curly haired friend showing how they use their variety of toys. Then came out the paint enemas and the canvas, and they begin to make art. After the art lesson the DVD really starts to spiral down. Scene after scene of moderately attractive women pissing in public.  How many times can you film women masturbating, fucking or sucking in public?  The answer from Joe Gallant would be quite a few.  The only redeeming scene is of a blond that barely speaks English, a shitty motel room and a straight fuck.  Unless you are interested in experimental porno or things that are just off the wall, don’t buy this, rent this, or steal this. It’s just not worth it. 1 out of 5 crypts -Dr. G.

VELVET REVOLVER
'Contraband'
(RCA Records; Produced by Josh Abraham and Velvet Revolver)

What the fuck can anyone say about VELVET REVOLVER except that they’re an “Instant Supergroup," since the band’s a match made in heaven between Guns and Roses and the Stone Temple Pilots…STP’s Scott Weiland handles vocals, GNR’s Slash, Duff, and Matt Sorum are on guitar, bass and drums respectively, and Dave Kushner is on guitar. The result is awesome…both GNR and STP are top-ranked bands, but some of their listeners (myself included) have thought either of them “Would be so much better, IF—“ until now. Velvet Revolver is so much better. Smoother than Guns and Roses and rougher than Stone Temple Pilots, with that same diverse, genre-less quality that both bands have. As such, they’ve got something for everyone—metalheads, grungers, punks, and generic rockers…opener “Sucker Train Blues” is a raw sonic rollercoaster fueled by driving guitars; “Fall to pieces” is a lush ballad which will have your girlfriend nice and moist in no time. Most other tracks will have you thinking “This sounds like ‘X’ by GNR and ‘Y’ by STP at the same time.” Weiland’s chameleonic voice seems to have been improved by his various traumas, making W. Axl Rose sound like a bawling infant by comparison. Lyrically, the CD seems to be the worldview of a jaded rock star who’s been through it all, and that too fits perfectly. ‘Nuff said; buy it already. -K.K.

Winter Solstice
'The Fall of Rome'
(Metal Blade Records)

 How can I put this nicely?  Winter Solstice is not at the top of their game with 'The Fall of Rome.' Actually they aren’t at the top of anyone’s game. The music is repetitive making every song sound the same. The vocals sound like lead singer Matt Tarpey is squeezing his own nuts. I couldn’t even listen to the whole album because it gave me a headache. Even if you enjoy bands that come from Metal Blade records I doubt you will like Winter Solstice. These guys need to go back to Virginia and find something else to do.  -Dr. G.

0 out of 5 crypts

© 2005 Crypt Magazine. All Rights Reserved.