The Palms Hotel and Casino

Las Vegas, NV

by David Necro

Photos by: David Necro

"Put on your best poker face and register to win a seat at the Vegas Rock Star Poker table with Dave Navarro, Gene Simmons, Jerry Cantrell and Chad Kroeger to compete for $10,000. You and a guest will receive luxury hotel and airfare accommodations to Las Vegas where you will be trained by poker professional Phil Gordon, and receive ALL ACCESS VIP passes to mingle with Rock Stars the night of the tournament. It’s time to go “ALL IN” with your chips, chances, and best friend as Vegas Rock Star Poker is waiting for you". (from the official website, www.vegasrockstarpoker.com)

The call was put out, and it was most definitely answered. This was absolutely a rock n' roll fans dream come true. Get flown out to Vega$, play poker, and party with some of the biggest rock stars of all time. What could be greater? Therefore, I had to cover this event. You, the readers deserve no less.

It began with world-renowned poker professional Phil Gordon introducing our special guests for the evening.

It was definitely impressive to see all of these rock stars; especially Gene Simmons (who celebrated his 56th birthday at The Palms the nite before) and Dave Navarro in the same room. Let alone them even being a part of this. I must say it was an inspiring moment to anyone that is into sex, rock n' roll, the dark side of life, and on the cutting edge to see them being part of such a high profile and mainstream event. Because as you know, as rich and famous as these guys are, there are forces out there that feel they (and their work) are a negative influence on society. Not only that, if it were up to these forces, they would rob them of their creative outlets. For The Palms to have this type of event, even in Las Vegas, takes a lot of balls. Kudos to them for putting this on. You may not realize this, but this was a big nite for both the rock n' roll scene, whether it's Metal, Alternative, or what have you. In more ways than 1.

Also on hand were Pantera/Damageplan drummer Vinnie Paul and porn star Taylor Wane. In case you were wondering, Vinnie Paul did not participate in the tournament. But it was very good to see that he is getting on with his life and not becoming a bitter recluse. Which can be totally understandable (if he were to do so) considering that his only brother, Dimebag Darrell was brutally murdered last December (may he rest in peace.) But Vinnie was in good spirits, and you have to respect that. Speaking of Taylor Wane, how about 'Porn Star Poker?' Or 'Rock and Porn Star Poker?' That would be very ghoul, no?

Anyway, the game began, and as with any poker tournament, a lot of tension and intrigue was at hand. DJ Toast rocked the crowd with a very deadly mix of Iggy and The Stooges, New York Dolls, Motley Crue, KISS, Jane's Addiction and more. Surprisingly enough, the first rock star out of the tournament was Gene Simmons of KISS. Because arguably, he is the most intelligent out of the bunch. But, he had other things on his mind. Guess what that was? The bevy of beauties that were hanging out in the VIP area. I was told that they were straight from the Playboy Mansion itself. So Gene wasted no time in carousing with them and attacking them. Then again, they did that to him just as much as he did to them.

You know, I used to believe the Gene's story of sleeping with almost 5000 women was kinda far-fetched. A gimmick of sorts. Actually seeing him in action made me change my mind. A little bit, anyway. Gene in action can be best described as a cross between Hugh Hefner and Bela Lugosi. His antics on this nite proved it. Quite frankly, he had these chicks hypnotized and eating out of his hand. Later in the tournament, he actually bit 1 on the neck. Very ghoul!

Dave Navarro, no stranger to celebrity poker tourneys, stayed a bit longer. But soon, he was outta there as well. That came as a surprise as he did very well a year ago at The Palms for 'Bravo Celebrity Poker,' and is damn good poker player in his own right. He knows his shit. Chad Kroeger of Nickelback then followed, which left the sole rock star hold-out Jerry Cantrell; who at 1 point was up $30,000, but then quickly downspiraled on some bad hands (and bad bets) and was out. The winner therefore, was actually not a rock star but a Ron Howard-looking average joe. Not someone you'd associate with the rock n' roll scene. Therein lies the irony, boils and ghouls...how ironic indeed.

What was rather amusing to this whole event is whether the crowd was there to se a poker game or to just meet Gene, Vinnie, Taylor, Dave, Chad, and Jerry. At times it was like being in the photo pool at the Grammys or something with fans jockeying for position on the guard railing. Note to the management of The Palms: Do ya think you can have next year's tournament in a room that has seats? Would be nice, ya know. But I must say that all of the celebs were very accommodating and gracious to their fans. 

Especially Gene Simmons, who allowed me to have a photo with him. But for some reason he told me I was fired. The funny thing is, he never fuckin' hired me for anything! Not that I know of, anyway.

But that's not all folks...things really got interesting at the official after-party, which was hosted in the Real-World suite at The Palms. It was a drunken sleaze fest. Something out of the Motley Crue book, 'The Dirt.' The first thing I see is Gene Simmons walking around with a squirt gun (with what looked like a dildo stuck at the end.) He then proceeded to squirt every hot chick (and there were plenty as you can imagine) in attendance right in the ass. They didn't even know what him 'em. As hilarious as this was, I found it a bit odd.

Also, I didn't understand why Gene pulled me out of the way so he could see 2 chicks get it on. Getting all giddy like a schoolboy while they were doing it. It's like, when you're Gene Simmons, why the Hell do you need voyeurism in your life? When you can just take them up to your room and screw their brains out? Anyway, while trying to figure out Gene Simmons' interesting behavior, I proceeded to get smashed to smithereens, smoke like a stack, and eat everything I could bite. With an open bar (i.e. free drinks) and enough hors d'oerves to feed a small third-world country, why the fuck not? At 1 point, I was asking for drugs. Who the Hell did I think I was, Nikki Sixx? No, but I sure felt like it! Once again, DJ Toast rocked the crowd perfectly, reprising tunes from the killer bands he played during the tournament and even playing heavier shit like Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Black Flag, and the Circle Jerks. Which only added to the decadent vibe already present. Speaking of decadance, I was informed by 1 of the girls working the party that there were naked chicks in the hot tub. Sure enough, there were! Pretty kool! Moments later, Richie Cunningham, I mean the winner of the tournament gets in with them. Also, Dave Navarro got into the act and took a quick dip. That explains why he was only wearing a towel at 1 point! But the most interesting thing about the whole nite was that Taylor Wane was on her best behavior. Not 1 stitch of clothing came off of her. "But, she's a porn star!" Well, what can I say? Except, go figure, and take that up with her!

Well, as they say, "time flies when you're having fun." This was no exception, and I'm not sure if this wasn't just a dream. Hell, even if it was, this will definitely be a nite that will go down in infamy, and a nite to be remembered. A lot of cliches are evident here, I know, but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. Only in Frightfully Fabulous Las Vega$, you creeps! Word from Gene Simmons (via his website genesimmons.com) is that, and I quote; "All of it was filmed for a forthcoming new show called (...here we go again) GENE SIMMONS PRESENTS ROCK STAR POKER. And, the rest of the ongoings were for my forthcoming Fall A&E show called GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS." So, stay tuned. You just may see yours truly, drunk off my undead ass and rocking out! 

Needless to say, I can't wait for Vegas Rock Star Poker 2006. I do hope you will join me. Until then, take it sleazy and stay ghoul. As always...

XXXtra special thanks (from the bottom of my black heart) to DJ Toast and Taylor Wane, who was cool enough to give Gene Simmons my business card. Also, to The Palms security for not throwing my undead ass outta there! -DN

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